Self Doubt


The world that surrounded me was black, devoid of all sound or sight. Was this death, how one spent all eternity? No this isn’t it. I calmly sat in the dark, waiting, though I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for.

"Shut up!" I heard a voice echo. Shikashi? My heartbeat quickened at the thought, he had survived. Other voices began to echo around me, drawing closer.

"Nice to see you have recovered Shikashi." Another voice said," How is Sveta?" I know that voice…my thoughts sounded.

"She said make a healthy recovery” An unknown voice spoke.

"Yeah but he was to much of a coward to fight me." That voice, it’s Zoraan! My eyes shot open and my dormant lungs gasped for air. Zoraan, Shikashi, and two other men looked at me. All were surprised at my sudden awakening. Shikashi was bandgaed while Zoraan wore the robes of a king. Electric shocks of pain pulsed through my shoulder, causing me to wince. I wasn’t going to scream, not after all the weakness I had shown. Shoving the pain to the back of my mind, I gave a weak smile to my friends.

“Shikashi,” I spoke quietly “are you ok, I…saw you fight Tayln. He struck you to the ground with such force…” my voice became strained with anger and fear. “I thought that he killed you.” Shikashi looked a me, a hint of surprise flashed behind his eyes.

“That’s how you got injured?” he asked. I gave a slow nodded, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

“I attacked him,” a small smile creased my lips “honestly I don’t know what I was thinking, but I couldn’t let him hurt you any more. When I jammed my blade into his shoulder he just laughed.” I shuddered remembering that cold laugh. “He tossed me back against the wall and-” My hand went to my injured shoulder which was bandageded tightly. Shikashi looked me in the eyes, a silent thank you as his sentiment. Zoraan dismissed the doctors leaving the three of us alone in the room.

“Sveta, Firaith is west of here, and I'm assembling a small group of men to assist us when we fight him.” I stayed silent unsure of anything, that sword had injured more than just my shoulder.

“Sveta.” Zoraan said calmly. I kept my eyes on the floor, Shikashi and Zoraan are strong, they managed to do more than I ever could. I can’t even control my darkest song…what use am I? I can’t fight when I’m myself. A tear dropped from my eye and cascaded down my cheek. Zoraan leaned close and wiped the tear away with his finger.

“What’s the matter?” Shikashi asked, siting next to me. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying not to show all the emotions I had rushing to the surface.

“It’s nothing,” I lied, looking away from the only friends I ever had.  

The End

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