Nora: Gravy.Mature

"Whoa!" I excaim, as more stoops pore out of a portal like gravy - well not like gravy really, I don't know why I put gravy there... odd.

So, here's the 'low-down' (I snigger in my head) on what's currently happening. Kevin and Jordan are having a fight to the death (probably too much oestrogen... wait... can they even have estrogen? What is it they say they have? Oh that's right, 'testosterone'. What a laugh).

Justin's fighting, and I'm trying to close portals - let me tell you this, dear noisy people, I hate, abhor, loathe and detest being blocked. It sucks!!

A huge (around 6'4, bald, chin the size of my brother's ego, little prin-prick eyes, small pink mouth, likes to kill and long walks in cyberspace.) stoop appears in front of me, his little mouth going smaller, untill it's as small as his eyes, as he growls.

"You're dead... meat... likle gwirlly," he looms in, buck teeth pokeing out of this dwarf of a mouth.

"Ha. I could beat you!"

"Like hell, ya just a likle girl!" he torments me, what a cyber prick.

He lifts a meat club - which some would like to call a hand - into the air, missing me, but smashes into the ground sending me flying against the wall. My powers - which I like to call my friends - are useless right now. He laughs tonelessly. Creep!

I narrow my eyes looking for a weak spot as he charges, my eyes widen as I duck sliding around his neverending body. I stumble backwards, the overdose steriod prone stoop (try saying that when intoxicated) turns to me.

S'all gravy, Nora. S'all gravy.

I thrust my knee into his diaphragm, lowering it to the floor a spin around kicking him around his pork choppers, sending him flying to the ground.

I lean over him, "Not bad for a 'likle gwirl,'" I mimic his voice, "Hey?" I smile as he is perminatly deleted.

"How the... Hell... Did you... Do that?!" Someone - who I presume is Justin as Kevin and Jordan are still having their oestroge- sorry, testosterone fueled fight to the death party - asks, panting from fighting stoops.

"Ahh, it's elementry my dear Humpfry," I say sitting back, my powers coming back, letting me close some portals. "Never become to dependant on your friends - sorry, powers - as well, sometimes they're just not there." I grin.

Another portal opens, I jump up, elbowing someone in the face and kicking them down, using the back of their neck. 'Cause I'm so rock 'n' roll, I think back to the Tim Minchin videos I managed to watch, last summer.

I reach into the portal and grab some coke - no, not the illege drug, my naive nosiy parkers, but the high in all bad stuff (sugar, fat, heart disease) 'soft' drink.

I spark out the can, take a couple of gulps, then pour the rest over a stoop before kicking the living ding-dong outta him. "Right, I'm off to see how Alica's doing, ter-rah." I wave them all goodbye.

Justin fighting the few remaining stoops and Kevin and Jordan to their oestrogen fight... Oh bugger, testosterone, I ment testosterone....

The End

97 comments about this exercise Feed