It's really hard to fall asleep. I'm knackered, really, really tired, but I can't sleep. I wish Gabby would lay with me and let me hold her close like I'd never let go. Only I know how weak I already look, wearing myself out so quickly. So I don't ask.
Apparently spending months at a time on a bus travelling the world isn't a good way to keep fit.
After a while of laying under the covers the shelter gave us in silence, my eyes slide shut and the next thing I know is... well nothing.
When I wake up, it's just after noon and the sun is still high in the sky. But I'll have to deal with that, ‘cause we can't travel just in the evenings. I push myself up and rub my eyes, pushing the cover off me. I look over at Gabby and she's sat leaning against the wall. She doesn't look like she's slept at all. I sigh and swing my legs out of the bed, picking up my jeans and pulling them back on.
"You didn't sleep did you?" I mutter, pulling my shirt over my head.
"I dunno... A little, maybe," she says, rubbing her eyes. I shake my head and look around.
"And you tell me not to push myself," I half smile. She looks away from me, out of the window.
"I didn't want nightmares," she whispers, and I can't help that protective tug in my stomach that makes me feel sick that I can't make everything just go away. I move over to her and sit with her on the bed, putting my arms around her.
"We'll be okay," I mumble into her hair. ‘Cause we will be, right?
"Please stop saying that," she sighs and I mutter a quiet sorry. I need to hear myself say it to believe it. And even then it's a weak belief. She shakes her head and returns the hug, slipping her arms around my waist. I sit there like that for a few moments before grimacing slightly.
"We should get a move on," I say, trying to keep the whine out of my voice. I don't want to. I'm sick of running away in the same way I'm sick of killing people just to keep myself alive.
"You sure you won't get too hot?" I nod and pull away.
"Yeah, I'm sure." She frowns and doesn't look too convinced and well... I don't blame her. I'm not sure at all, but what else can I say? ‘Oh, no, I want to hang around and risk getting shot so I don't get too hot'... doesn't really cut it. "Honest. I'll be fine," I insist, getting up and picking up my bag, strapping my knife to my arm and putting my hoodie on over it. She rolls her eyes at me.
"Sure you will," she says, standing and walking over to the door. I sling my bag over my shoulder and join her by the door. I kiss her on the cheek and somehow manage to smile.
"Come on then; the open road awaits us," I laugh, opening the door for her. She gives me a monotone "woo" and walks out the door. I put up my hood and follow her outside with a sigh. Well this should be fun.