I wanted to tell him I lied. I wanted to, but I was too scared. What if Alex didn't want the same thing? Is it even possible that he would want to stay with me? But I wanted to stay with him so much... I usually try not to think about the future - it scares me - but I couldn't get my mind to move away from it.
"What do you want to do when we get off the bus?" I added in the 'we' on purpose, hoping he'd notice.
"No idea. I got on looking for the vampire that ruined my life, but so much has changed since I got on..." Guess not. Maybe that was too subtle.
"Y'know, I lied before." I ducked my head down, pressing my face against his hoodie to hide the blush in my cheeks. "When I said I didn't know what I wanted to do after all this, I mean." I mumbled.
"What do you want to do then?" He asked, shifting away from me slightly. I looked up at him, cringing and glaringly aware that this could be a really bad idea.
"I want to stay with you." I whispered, so my voice couldn't break from embarrassment or longing.
"Stay... with me?" Uh oh. I knew it was a bad idea! I knew it. I inwardly kicked myself for my stupidity.
"Yeah." I sighed.
"Why?" He seemed shocked. Or appalled...
"Why d'you think?" I tried to keep my tone nonchalant, practically questioning his sanity. It was hard, I mean, I'd practically been rejected, for God's sake. I wanted to cry.
"You want to get to know me better?" He laughed, and I smiled. How could I not? That laugh makes my stomach do somersaults every time.
"Well... yeah." I muttered, and he smiled back at me. I ducked my head back down, leaning into his side and sighed. It was both happy and sad - sitting here like this was so good, but the thought of it ending was painful.
"Why are we still here? On the bus, I mean. Why don't we just go?" I asked, suddenly. Not that I wanted to leave, but it seemed kind of pointless to stay.
"Good question. Personally, I like the bus. It's like nothing else matters. I guess I'm just worried about what will start to matter again once I get off." A good answer to a good question.
"I like it to." I said, nodding. "I kinda hope it never ends."
He laughed a little. "I think even if Beth gets bored and stops driving, someone else will pick up where she left off."
"That would be pretty cool." Then I looked around at the other passengers (carefully avoiding looking at the two love-birds), judging who might volunteer to be driver, before looking back at Alex. "Can you drive?"
"I can drive a car, sure, but I can't say I've ever tried a bus before."
"That could be interesting..." I muttered, smiling conspiratorially.
"Ah, but if I'm driving, I can't hug you." He said, and I tightened my grip on him.
"Yeah, true." Desperation leaked into my voice as I spoke, "Please don't stop hugging me."
"I'll think about it." He laughed, and I squeezed him harder. I was being deadly serious, but I wasn't even sure why.
"Please?" I watched, tense, as he appeared to think about it. I knew he was just faking, but I couldn't help but be nervous.
"Okay." He said, smiling, and squeezing me back. I grinned, and squealed delightedly, making him laugh again. Then, with a contented sigh, I snuggled into him and closed my eyes, not sleeping, but feeling the road move beneath us and listening to the sound of Alex's deep breathing.