Watching a high fairy totter around is probably the second most funny thing I have ever seen. The first was Gabby insisting I carried her back to the bus when I wasn't capable of holding myself up let alone anyone else.

I never used to understand drugs, or why they were so irresistible. I was a straightedge all through my life. Until Gabby found those junkies. And now the most important thing seems to be the little bags for stuff in my pockets. Little pills with smiley faces and what looks like a cross between talcum powder and salt. And weed. But I think it's skunk. But I don't care.

All I know is the guy in that dingy little room behind the green door made a lot of money out of me. And I'm too busy laughing with Gabby to care. He told me to try this thing called X. Or was it E? I don't know, I was already high by that time, and nothing he was saying made much sense, to be honest. He could have looked like Shrek and I wouldn't have thought twice about it. He could have been Shrek for all I cared. Until Gabby ate him, that is. Well. She didn't literally eat him, but she drank his blood. That was when I took my money back and we got out of there.

Every time I fell over on the way back, Gabby had to prod me back into getting up, because as we all know, gravel makes really interesting patterns when it's less than an inch from your eyes.

Drugs are much more fun when you know they won't kill you. How could it kill a vampire? It even takes the sun a few hours to burn me enough that I'd be in a lot of pain. I think I blanked out somewhere on the way back, though, because suddenly we were on the bus and I don't remember getting there.

Anyway. I was talking about the fairy being high. Wasn't I? I don't know. The fairy is just sitting on the top of the chair in front of us, wobbling about all over the place and Gabby is laughing her head off. At nothing. I think. I can't tell if I'm laughing or not any more. I think I am. My sides hurt like I am.

‘That was mean. Bringing a fairy with us. Look at her,' I watch intently as the little person sits there laughing like a maniac, except it's silent.

‘I'm sure she appreciates it. Just look! She's so happy.' So I do look. And she is happy. Gabby bursts into a fit of giggles that have her doubling over and gasping for air. The bus brakes and as it jolts to a halt at a junction, Gabby falls from her seat, landing face down on my bag. She makes an "oomph" noise and mumbles something that sounds like ‘ouch' before laughing some more. I chuckle, pulling her up, but I pull too hard and she ends up half on my lap by accident. She twists to look at me and grins.

‘Hello,' she says.

‘Why hello.' I laugh and move my hands from her arms to around her waist, pulling her onto my lap more. I'm going to blame the XE things.

The End

1,116 comments about this exercise Feed