We all got what we deserved, in the end. I got thrown out of a bus and left to die, and then bitten by Basilic in his true form. And left to die again. Raven got what was coming to her for the spiteful prank, though Bas did indeed deserve the hurt the prank caused him. I suppose Phoebe didn’t really do anything or get anything for it, so all’s fair, really. Apart from the fact that I’m dying. Again. I have no control over my limbs, Gabby is screaming in my ear and at the people around us to help. Which in the biggest act of charity, no one does. Why would they? I’m a bastard, in every sense of the word. I know that Gabby needs me to find Alex, which is the only reason she cares, I suppose.
Inside myself, I know I’m probably not going to live. And, actually, I don’t mind. The truth of it all is I’m as lonely as Raven is, and I was probably acting out of jealousy when I pissed Basilic off, rather than anything else, though irritation was pretty high in that mix of emotions I felt at the time. I can feel Basilic’s poison pumping through me, my heart racing, my temperature rising and my muscles spasm. If my vocal cords weren’t paralysed I would be screaming so loudly the windows would tremble. But even in this amount of agony, I look back on my wasteful life and realise how little I have achieved in my hundred or so years as a vampire. I achieved more as a human than I did as a vampire. And as a human, I spent a grand total of 30 something years on this planet. Which when you’re well over a century old, pales into nothing.
I realise that while I'm thinking, I'm becoming detached from the pain coursing through me. My eyelids flutter open and I look up at the ceiling of the bus and Gabby comes into view.
‘Did I do it right?’ she asks, the question directed at someone else. Do what right, exactly? ‘Jesse? Jesse, can you hear me?’ she shouts, her voice too loud and too close.
‘Of course I can f*cking hear you!’ is what I would like to say, but all I can do is screw my face up and blink a few times. I feel like crap. Even worse than earlier when I was burning and my legs were all smashed up. I blink a few more times, and hear sobs of relief, mainly from Gabby. My senses are all screwed up, the sounds fading in and out like someone playing with the volume control, and my sight goes in and out of focus as I stare at the ceiling.
But I’m alive. That’s the main thing, right?