'Alex,' Gabby whispers, 'I know what I want.' She looks at me, the hope in her eyes unbearable to look at.
‘No, you don’t,’ I snap suddenly, ‘you’re a kid running away from problems you don’t want to face up to. This... this life – if that’s what you want to call it – is not something anyone would choose for themselves in their right minds. You have no idea just how hard it is being like this!’ embarrassingly, I'm crying; a mixture of frustration and the memory of my own change. Knowing that Gabby wants to be like this was just inexplicably horrible. She has her whole life ahead of her, she’s escaped death twice already, and she wants this!
She recoils again from me. I don’t want to hurt her. And making her like me would hurt her more than the rejection ever could, despite how glamorous it might seem; living in the shadows, one thing on the outside another on the inside. I can’t ruin her life. I won’t.
Gabby grabs me by my shoulders, twisting me around to face her. She wipes my tears away with her fingers, but it’s a futile effort; the tears just keep coming. I feel so... so weak! Guy’s aren’t supposed to cry, are they? I don’t care though, right now, that people can see me blubbering away like a baby.
‘Alex, it’s what I want... I don’t care if you think I'm just some kid running away from everything.’ Gabby tells me quietly. I shake my head, sniffing loudly. I gulp air down, trying to calm down. I swear quietly to myself.
‘I can’t, Gabby. I’m already being hunted by Zack, and Helsing guy back there will kill me if I do anything to you. If it’s what you want so badly, you can wait until you come across some other vampire.’ I turn back to face the front, trying to end the conversation, but Gabby is persistent. I hear her words, but their meaning washes over me, like water trickling over glass. I'm lost in my own mind. I feel like I'm drowning.