I am running through white halls. My footsteps echo. I can hear my heart pounding. I am terrified. Breathless I reach a door. I knock. Eternity seems to pass before it opens.
“Sedation” I blurt out. The man stares at me. “She has to be sedated.”
“W h y ?” His question takes eons to say.
“Mother says so.”
“H e r p a r e n t s h a v e f o r b a d e i t .” I feel as though he is talking through molasses.
“She and the babe will die if she’s not sedated!”
“W e c a n n o t g o a g a i n t t h e w i s h e s o f h e r p a r e n t s.”
“But,” screams break through my reply. I turn and begin to run back. He follows me, but in doing so he has slowed me down. I feel like a video game character whose partner isn’t going in the right direction. I keep running, but I can only go so fast and so far ahead of him. The hall echoes with our footsteps, besides that all is silent.
I can see the door now. Blood oozes from the top, sliding down the small window. My own pace slows. I am behind him now, trying to keep him from reaching the door. My face is wet with tears. I know what’s there. I don’t want to see it again.
“No,” I whisper.
His hand is on the door knob. I am there beside him now, despite my effort not to be. He turns the handle slowly. The door opens.
“MOTHER!” I scream and sit bolt upright. I am bawling. I am cold. I am sweating. My eyes stay closed. I know I’m on a bus. Behind me sits Gloria. Beside me sits my real father. I feel their concern and their comfort. All I can do is try to calm myself. I haven’t had that nightmare in two years.