I found my heart clenching and I did not wish to feel this way. I found myself once again making an excuse to leave. I almost rushed out of the ballroom. I almost felt tears fill my eyes. I felt so odd. Suddenly I collided with someone. "Sorry" I gasp, I look up into a familiar face. "Charles?"
"Miss Rose, what is wrong?" he asks.
"Nothing" I sniffle wiping away my tears.
"It is Lord William again isn't it?" I look up shocked and Charles stares back worried. "You have no need to worry, Rose, everyone knows he's a flirt"
"I... I have to go" I choke and rush past Charles running up the staircase in a complete hurry. I rush along foreign corridors yet I find myself racing into a room, slamming the door shut and colapsing on the bed. I sob into the pillow. What is wrong with me? Why do I seem to have a life here? A history, almost.
I push my hands beneath the pillows and my fingers touch the edge of a book. I frown and sit up pulling it out. It is a book bound in ribon... a diary. I open it up with a sniffle. I smell the scent of roses on the whole thing. I begin to read the last entry.
Oh, it is not fair. Living in this house can be such a torture. The balls nearly every night make me cry. I mean it is hard to watch William walk round flirting with whatever lady he pleases. It hurts very much.
I think he feels the same but he hardly shows it. He just treats me like any other lady he flirts with. Why must he pursue me? Is it because I don't almost worship him like the young girls. The only way I can excape him is to either be on the arm of another man or to hide among the older ladies.
What should I do?
I stare at the pages. This is my diary. It even has my gentle flowing handwriting. I put a hand to my temple. This is all so confusing.
Its almost as if I have had a life here. That this isn't just a dream. There is just way too much detail. It.... frightens me. How will I deal with this pressure on my mind? Will I just go along with it? Enjoy it?
I nod firmly and stand up. I leave my room and close the door firmly. I walk down to the ballroom and almost straight into William's arms. I gasp slightly and he looks at my cheeks in slight confusion. "You have been crying?" he asks.
I wrap my arms around his neck and he raises his eyebrow. "Is that any buisness of yours?" I ask. "I don't believe it is. Why don't you just carry on with what you came over to do?"
"And what is that, young Rose?" he asks.
"To seduce me" I whisper turning my back to him. He places his hands on my hips from behind and steps up to me putting his lips to my neck.
"Will you allow me a dance?" he whispers.
"One dance" I whisper looking back into his eyes. He then offers his arm and I put my hand lightly on it. He guides me into the centre of the ballroom. We begin to dance. I can't help but notice the helpless glances of the women around us as they gaze at William longily.
When the music finishes I step away. "That was your one dance" I say before turning away. William snatches my hand and pulls me back to him.
"Not another?" he asks.
"No, sir" I say pushing myself firmly away from him. "I-I need to know why I am in such a foreign land" I then pull my skirt up slightly and escape into the garden. I go to the stables where I wait. I know William will follow even though I clearly said I didn't want him to. I can't help but hope he will.