Lazarus: Why?

“You were a great composer.” Past tense. Charming. I just sat there listening to her singing that song I wrote her, wondering what to do or say. I was too hung over for this. It’d be awkward enough when I was sober, but this was just too much for me. I wanted to sleep.

I felt her eyes on me as I drained my mug. I looked up at her as I put it down on the coffee table. She looked down away from me as she spoke.

"I never stopped loving you,” she told me. I didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything I could say, really. I mean, great, she never stopped loving me, but that didn’t mean much, did it? She was still gone, she still abandoned me to raise two kids alone, I still had to battle my alcoholism when she wasn’t there. “Lazarus, saysomething.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I shrugged.

"Anything, something... can you even say my name?"

"Y'know, I think I was wrong when I said it hurt as much as losing Gabriel when you left. He died. You chose to go"

"But not from you, Lazarus. I couldn't tear you from the kids... They don't even feel mine, my body's dead, how the hell did I concieve?"

"You still left. Gabriel never had a choice. You did."

"Yes, yes I left. But I'm back now. And stop about Gabriel! You forget I knew him too! He was my brother when I was younger, he was one of the only people that dared speak against my father."

“What does it have to do with anything if he defended you while he was alive?”

"Because you're acting like his death only affected you! But no, he didn't just die did he? He was mauled to death Lazarus, no one could get over that easily so don't act like only you hurt over him."

I growled, standing up. My head was pounding, and Bane was pushing forward, leaping to protect me. I’d have let him if I wasn’t so sure he’d be happy to maul her to death too. God knows why I didn’t want to let him kill her. “Why are you even here?”

"I didn't intend to get into an argument with you, that's for sure..." She sighed, looking straight up at me. "I just wanna know what you want me to do. I don't see the point in wandering around alone anymore."

“You could've gone anywhere and been with anyone. Why me? Why after all this time?"

"Why weren't you happy with anyone else?"

“Same reason it took so long to find someone that made me happy the first time round.”

"You were my first everything, I still love you, I know I do. I can't give you up just like that,” she told me as I started to twitch. Oh c’mon you stupid dog, don’t do this now. It was bad enough when you bust out like that in front of all those people on the bus. "Are you... okay?" she reached out a hand

"Bane's being an idiot,” I growled, my stomach twisting painfully. Her hand snapped back down at her side.

"Oh... is it me? I don't wanna hurt him too." I sat back down on the sofa, trying to make him behave, even though my hand was twitching uncontrollably.

"He took it harder than I did when you went,” I explained. I didn’t feel bad for guilt tripping her at all. I wanted her to know exactly how much damage she’d done. I was losing my battle with him though. I heard her saying something as Bane pushed me to the back of my own head, tearing my clothes off with trembling hands before he let go and started to break my bones to fit his form. Melissa held out her arms as Bane snapped his teeth at her angrily.

“Bane,” she sighed dropping them again. With a growl, Bane knocked the latch of the window open and jumped outside, sprinting both of us away from her. We took refuge in the woodland, curling up under a great oak tree, ears and nose twitching, praying we wouldn’t be followed. 

The End

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