My arrival was met with quite some commotion; a large man with shocking blonde hair came running toward me, followed by a black haired woman who was shouting every profanity under the sun, and by my guess, in multiple languages. “Get back here! No...!” The expletives started again. He said nothing and instead, just walked on by.
She stopped next to me, watching him disappear with a tear stained face. I looked at her and put my hand on her shoulder, “Are you okay?” She shook me off, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to calm herself down.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine...” she looked up. “Oh... what’re you doing here?” her face was suddenly transformed becoming cold hard stone. Something was definitely clicking very slowly behind her eyes.
I shrugged, “intuition brought me here...wait, do I know you?” I am unsure as to why I am here, but as always I followed my nose, this itchy, wolfish nose. It made me miss being a vampire; this just didn’t seem right at all. Plus, I now sleep during the night and not the day. Indeed, I missed the moonlight cascading over streets where the lights had been broken by the sins of humanity. I sighed a little.
“Oh no, but I know you, my umm – friend told me about you,” I was curious and she was hiding something, something that I felt I needed to know.
“Do I know him?”
“Ugh...” she ignored me, holding up her hand and shuffling away with her head hung; I couldn’t follow her either, something was rooting me to the ground. It was only when she disappeared into the house I moved, but once again not willingly. I was drawn toward a very large and very old house, one that looked familiar, but, yet like it was from a far away dream.
I heard the footsteps behind me, but I didn’t move quite quickly enough. Her hand pushed against my forehead and the pain was unbearable. She held out a charm, a wolf on a chain. I saw light coming from my body, the howl of my wolf crying in pain... no, no! She can’t steal my wolf, I can’t be human again! But, that wasn’t just it; this foul creature was not finished. I couldn’t quite see her as she stepped forward, I felt dizzy and my vision was blurred. Something pressed into my neck, a sharp prick like a pin or... or fangs?
I passed out, feeling the heat of the sun slowly getting more and more intense. I would say that I was upset to be a vampire again; I assumed that was what I had become, again. But it was not clear yet, it felt the same... it was certain my wolf was gone, I felt the empty hole where she should’ve been, my head silent for the first time in years. I felt something heavy being thrown over me and I collapsed, I think, I wasn’t sure if I was standing before or if I was already on the floor.
“What’re you doing here?” Déjà vu, except this voice was painfully familiar.
“L-Lazarus?” I murmured. I slowly pushed myself up, making sure my blanket was over my head, I hadn’t felt that burning in a while.
“You left me, why are you here?” He says that like I wanted to. I wasn’t leaving him I was leaving them. Those kids, those horrible little kids, I had come to terms with never having children, that my body was dead, then, things happened weird and unnatural things and it was horrible. I come back here and... It all happens again.
“I wandered, alone, following my nose for a long time. It’s led me here, I followed the scent of something new, something foreign and I was curious. I would’ve stayed away if I knew I would be attacked,” I sighed, this was all too much. Tear away my soul and curse me, then throw me to The wolf?
“Attacked?” He seemed dubious and I could see his brain hadn’t quite clicked, to let me in, it was sunny and I was burning.
"I walked to this house, I remember it... somewhere, somehow... then, I passed out. When I woke, I felt burning; I had this wolf around my neck and a blanket on me." He frowned and it made me stop dead. Apparently, my brain hadn't clicked either. I paused looking up at him with a grin. It felt weird, having fangs again; I almost forgot how sharp they were as I threw myself at him... kind of, my arms wrapped around his neck, though I was sure to try and keep the blanket around me. "It's been so long, it took me a while to realise it was you."
He stumbled back, apparently too in shock to have any real reaction... I hoped. “Oh Lazarus, I have missed you too much to say!”
“You left,” he murmured and I felt like crying... if I wasn’t all cried out.
"Not from you, I never wanted to leave you. Never you."
"Why did you leave?"
"I had spent four hundred years coming to terms with the fact that my body was dead. I would never had kids, after a while, I relished the idea. I never wanted them, it wouldn't be right. Then what? Suddenly I'm human, no, werewolf and having two kids? I didn't want that."
"And I spent three hundred years wishing for a family of some sort,” he whispered quietly
"Then," I let go of him, softly touching his cheek, "I'm glad you got what you wanted, my love."
"It fell apart though," it felt like he was going to say my name but just couldn't pull himself to say it. I'd broken him, my gorgeous, phantom wolf.
"Didn't you have... that person?"
"I’ve had several people since you left"
"None of them made you happy?"
"No. Losing you was like losing Gabriel all over again."
I swallowed hard. "Lazarus..." I turned my head away from him, finally dropping the blanket as the shadow came over me. "I knew it, I knew it! I always tried to convince myself to return, but to think I had kids? No... No, they would hate me.”
He laughed hysterically and I looked back at him, “I had to tell them you weren't coming back. They kept asking and asking and begging me to see their mother, but I had to keep hurting them. They're the only reason I haven't tried to get myself caught by a hunter." God, was I really that bad?
"And to find out I was a dirty leech, a freak that had become a werewolf and now turned back again? In all rights I should be dead ten times over! I was in no position to look after kids..." He didn’t say anything and I sighed, "Fine, I- I should go then, right? No..." I looked at him. "This time, you choose what I do."
He pulled a green envelope from his pocket and I opened it, tipping out the key with an animal fang, dripping what I gathered to be blood on them. “I found this in my desk; I gather it was for you.”
I put the keys back in and passed it to him. "No. I want to hear what you want me to do."
He didn’t take it and I put the envelope in my pocket, once again pulling out the keys. "Go find what the key's for."
I threw the blanket over myself, "fine,” I left, holding out the key. It was apparent where it led. As soon as I left it stared me in the face, like the burns on my arm, it almost matched Lazarus’ in style, except the inside was so much grander. A rose emblazoned the coat of arms and they were everywhere, frozen in time when my father hosted a dance one time. Even my servants were there, each one of their happy faces staring at me. “Oh God no.”