I swear, hand on heart, this is the strangest day or week or whatever of my entire life.
There are demons in the cellar, I'm pretty sure I've just seen the devil, a rogue poltergeist somewhere about the house, a guy's just been attacked and I'm staring right now at something that looks very much like a human wolf.
And I still can't find a clock in this whole damn house to tell me how long I've been here.
I'm still standing in my doorway while the wolf man thing stares bewildered at himself in the mirror. You'd think he'd never seen his reflection before. I cough loudly and he turns around, startled.
"Hi," I say. "I'm Ash. Welcome to the mad house. Who are you?"