Armes: Finally I know what I want

The kiss had been a mistake.  I knew it as soon as our lips touched that I shouldn't be doing this.  That doesn't mean it didn't feel good, the kiss was amazing and I wanted it to go on forever but we both pulled away.  I could see in Kynan's eyes that he knew we had been wrong.

'I have something I need to do.'  Kynan understood and helped me to my feet.  I walked calmly down the corridor, trying to decypher what was going on in my head.  Now I knew Kynan and I were not meant to be I thought about Jadir.  Would the same thing happen to us?

I wandered outside, subconciously following the sound of singing.  I looked up to see Naria leading a group of elves in one of our songs, the humans standing around them transfixed.  I watched too, not feeling like joining in.  I heard someone come up behind me and whisper in my ear.

'Jadir is over there.'  I looked behind me and saw Kynan smiling at me.  'Go and talk to him.'  I hugged him and walked towards him.  He was looking the other way, deep in thought.  I stopped to watch him, admiring the curve of his nose and the way his hair fell past his shoulders.  Then his eyes met mine and I saw my opportunity to move towards him.  I felt so worried but tried not to show it.

'Good morning.'  The sharpness of his tone kicked me in the stomach.

'Morning.'  He turned to look away from me but my hand instinctively went to his cheek, turning his face towards mine.  'You look terrible. Are you alright?'  Something in Jadir's face changed and the cold exterior melted away.

'Armes, I....' I thought he was going to say he loved me, the look in his eyes told me that was what he was feeling, but then the barrier went up again, suddenly and unexpected.  'Armes, I hope you and Kynan have a fine, wonderful life together. He is a very...very fine man and that is what you deserve.'  I felt tears pricking at my eyes.  He had seen us.  Before I could explain Jadir was off, bulldozing his way through the crowd.  Kynan passed me, heading through the same pathe Jadir had taken.  He was a fast walker and I followed him as quickly as I could. 

Kynan said something to Jadir I couldn't make out and when I arrived Jadir ran away again.  I should leave you two alone. Farewell.'  My heart ached as he walked away.  Kynan's hand on my arm stopped me from following him.

'Ramin wants you.'  I felt my face contort into a confused expression.

'Did he say what he wanted?'

'No, he just needs to see all of your party.  I'll go and get Jadir, you go to Ramin.'  Reluctantly I walked away from Kynan, towards where I saw Naria and Ramin standing at the edge of the clearing.

What have I done?

The End

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