Armes: Yet more problems with anger

I ran as fast as I could until Kynan was only a few strides away.  'Why are you still running away from me?  I need to talk to you.'  I reached out and grabbed his arm.  He flew round to face me, his eyes burning with so much anger and hurt I took a step back.  'I heard about Amren.'  He looked away from me, his face scrunched up in pain.  'I'm so sorry.  If I'd known I would never have said those things I did.  You're not angry with me are you?'

'I'd never be angry at you for saying what you thought, it's what I love about you.'  Kynan refused to look back at my face.

'Then what is it?'  My voice took on a pleading tone, willing him to speak to me.  'Please talk to me.  You worry me when you're like this.'  Kynan turned back to me and I saw tears in his eyes.

'It's Godric, he's lost touch with the rest of us, hiding away in the forest by himself.  He doesn't seem to understand how much Amren meant to me and how angry I am-'  He kicked the stone wall.  It obviously hurt because he swore under his breath and began hopping so he could sit down with his back against the wall.

'I'm sure it's not that bad.'  I joined Kynan, leaning against the wall and drawing my legs up to my chest.  'You're hurting right now and I can understand why, but it's probably not as bad as you are making out.'

'Not that bad?'  Kynan looked at me with fire in his eyes.  'He asked me to look after a human girl,' he spat out the last word.  'A human mage, no less.  Just like the one that killed Amren.'

'Yes but she's not the one who killed him.'  Kynan huffed and turned his head away from me.  'One human cannot be responsible for the actions of the rest of their race.  You of all people should know how true that is.'

Kynan's face was suddenly very close to mine.  'I have no idea what you are talking about.' 

We sat in silence for a few minutes.  I could feel my body shaking from the intense nature of our conversation.  I had never seen Kynan express this amount of physical emotion and it scared me.  The way his eyes flashed when he got angry sent warning shivers down my spine.  But something else inside me was drawn to him, wanting to feel his eyes on me.

'I'm sorry for being so angry.'  Kynan finally broke the silence and looked at me again, this time with eyes filled with love and sadness.  'I just miss him so much.'  I put my arm around him as he lowered his head onto my shoulder.

'I know you do.  I just wish I'd been here to help you.  Why didn't you let me know?  It wouldn't have taken five minutes to write me a note, I would have come straight away.'

'That's why I didn't tell you.  I was so angry, I didn't want you to see me in that state.'  I felt a tear fall and land on my skirt.

'I've seen you when you are angry Kynan, I've been on the receiving end of it more times than I can count.  I think I could have handled it.'  He shook his head.

'I don't doubt that Armes.  I just didn't want you to think bad of me, to think I was going to hurt someone.'

'You wouldn't hurt anyone, I know that.'  I sounded determined and confident as the words came spontaneously out of my mouth.

'But I was close to it.'  Another tear fell, soaking through the thin material of my dress.  'I couldn't stand the thought of you thinking I was some sort of... monster.'  He whispered the last word, like it was something dirty.

'That's never bothered you before.  Why all the fuss about it now?  Has something changed?'  Kynan lifted his head, silver tears running down his beautiful face.  My heart jolted as his eyes focused on me, making my hands sweat and my head go funny.  I had never felt like this towards him before.  Could it be just because my emotions towards Jadir were confusing the reason I was feeling like this, or had my relationship with Kynan genuinely changed?

'I'm not sure.'  I was suddenly very aware of our closeness, something that had never bothered me before.  'I just-'  His face slowly came closer towards mine until our noses were touching.  'I want to-' I could feel his breath, heavy on my face, and my heartbeat, racing as our lips touched.

The End

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