Heads or Tails?

I sat on the ground thinking about nothing in particular. My fingers flicked and moved idly playing with the coin they contained. Every now and then I'd flip it and look down to see what the result was. I'm not sure why I wasted my time. The coin was heads every single time.

It was loaded.

Like you should be. Part of me thought. You are a loaded coin. You should always be the same. Your difference is shameful.

Not at all! Retorted the other. You can be different. No one, no thing, no power can tell you what to do. You have the power to be free.

Ha! You have as much a chance of being "free" as that coin has a chance of landing tails. Never.

The debate was endless. Both sides making points, both points leaving some questions unanswered.

And still I flipped the coin.

My parents. If I could call them parents. They weren't human. One was a demon, the other was an angel. I was the screwed up child that came as a result. I had power. Good power. Bad power. Who can say? It's all dogmatic when you get down to it.

I envied the coin. I wished that I too could be one thing. Purely Good. Purely evil. But I couldn't. My powers saw to that. Some of my power came from my father. Some from my mother.

Power from heaven, and power from hell. Good and bad.

I hated it.

It was why I found myself sitting here. Watching. Willing the coin to land tails. Because when that happened I would know that I should be both "good" and "bad." It would tell me that it was alright to be a mixture of both sides. 

So far it hadn't. So far I was wrong.

But I couldn't help it. I have tried. Swearing to use only the angelic side. Devoting myself only to the demonic side.I'd last for awhile. A few weeks. A few months.

But inevitably I'd revert. Whether out of need, or reflex, or as a subconscious gesture... it would happen.

The coin said it shouldn't.

Why listen to the coin? It wasn't biased. It wasn't prejudiced. It didn't contradict itself. And well...

No one else has had the answer.

The End

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