The Balancing Act

My first love told me when you are being oppressed by someone, you are under the impression you need them to survive. You can't leave them, your world is centered around them. You carry their needs like a sheet of glass on your head, manuvering to keep the world they have created world from shattering.

Then you mess up. The glass shatters at your feet, and you brace yourself to endure: nothing. The glass broke over your head, and you still stand strong.

Suddenly there is an up. You can reach. The sun hits your face. You grow disorientated. The power filled empty pockets you aren't sure what to do with. Your world is changed, your preception is askew and you don't know what to do with this new found freedom. You know something is missing. You fear getting sunburned. You look back to the life you are familliar with, and cut yourself trying to create a whole with broken pieces. 

You can't blame yourself for not creating a cushion, not bending enough to endure the impact, to save life as you know it. Because when two things are clashing, you can take as much weight as you possibly can, but it will still hit impact. You have to accept that you weren't moving in the same direction. Neither of you are blameless.

Allow yourself to cry. Its ok to miss the past. You cry of sadness because there is beauty in any world, and the beauty of the world you left, is gone. You cry of happiness. There is no crushing weight. You are allowed to dance again. You wont shatter anything now.

But you can't blame him either. Don't clench you dancing arms in anger. Don't blame him for restricting you. You aren't a victim. Let it roll off. You don't have to let anger control you. You control your circumstances. You control your emotions. It isn't really anger. It is sadness. Sadness that something wonderful ended.

But the beauty is that no matter where you are you will find beauty, if you are open to it. If you close your eyes with hatred, you wont see it. If you fall to bits in self pity you aren't looking around to experience it. You have to just accept life as it is thrown to you, and control your reaction. Life will move on, and you will move with it.

The End

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