Lazarus: TheoMature

I didn’t understand how Line could have gone from warm fuzzies to love in the space of about half an hour, but it had my head spinning. It was hard enough to believe that he even had the warm fuzzies, to be perfectly honest. I was tired, but I only half slept, too aware of his slow, sleepy rhythm of breathing beneath me, too conscious of the fact that I was nowhere near good enough for him. I was broken and far too dependent. In short I was a total mess. I missed Fate to the point where thinking of him made something in me ache, like a gaping wound that needed sewing shut, but I liked Line too. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to use him as the thread to mend me. It wouldn’t be fair on him if I did.

Not even the moon could stop my train of thoughts as my body imploded. Every thought was punctuated by the breaking of one of my bones and every question I had was answered only by the moon pulling the white wolf that slumbered inside of me and my own cries.

I did my best to stop myself from thinking too much as Line changed too, walking with him to the pack house. The others hadn’t changed by the time we got there, so we hung about in the house for a bit. I wagged my tail at the sight of them, and went straight over to Gen and Christofer, licking both their faces. Gen smiled as I sniffed the baby. He smelt healthy enough, so I was happy to go greet everyone else with a lick on the cheek. Everyone except Theo, anyway. He’d been glaring at me since I got there. I just ignored it, returning to Line’s side once we’d both said hello to everyone, rubbing his side with my face a little bit. Theo’s eyes were still burning into me and Line shot him this warning look.

“Oh, don’t start, Line,” Theo said, rolling his eyes. I looked up as Line let out a growl. "Am I honestly the only person that can't stand him? He wormed his way into our pack, made us lose one of our family to a vampire, and now he's sleeping his way through our ranks,” I could practically hear the venom dripping from his voice.

“Theo,” Gen snapped his name, frowning. I just flattened my ears, unsure of whether I should hide from him or roll on my back to try and placate him. Line was getting all defensive and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I didn’t want to be the reason that anyone in this pack ended up fighting. Theo just carried on, though.

"It's true, and you know it,” he said, turning to Scoot. "You better keep an eye out, he'll be after Gen next."

“Theo, that's enough," Scoot said. Theo had a frown on his face and I got down on the floor, flattening myself out as much as I could, keeping my eyes on the floor and trying to present myself as submissively as I could. Gen ended up telling Theo off, and Line was still being all defensive, even though Theo was just sat there looking grumpy.

"I think maybe it's best if you two stick tonight out on your own,” she smiled a little, but I gave her the sad face. I didn’t want to have to stay away from the people I considered my family now. I rolled on my back, hoping it might calm Theo down a little if I was properly submissive for him, but it didn’t work. He stormed off upstairs. I let out a whine that was as sad as my face, flopping onto my side when he was out of sight. Line nuzzled my side. "Just for tonight," she said, sounding a little upset. I looked over at Line, hoping he might be able to find a way to cheer Theo up enough to allow me to stay with the pack for the night. He just nuzzled me, apparently not having any more ideas than I did. Gen stroked my head, "I promise I'll get things sorted by this time next month. Sorry boys,” she said as I picked myself up off the floor. Line snorted as I licked her face again, though my tail was between my legs. She smiled, “have fun. I'll speak to Theo later."

Line took me to somewhere else in the forest, out of the way of the others. He circled for a bit before flopping down on the ground. I was about to join him when my stomach growled. I went off into the trees, hunting down a few small, unsuspecting creatures to have for dinner. It felt a little strange hunting for once – I usually suppressed my hunting instinct with digging or chasing something – but it felt kind of good. I bought them to Line one by one, making sure I caught a couple for him, too. When I was done, I sat down with him to snuggle and eat.

I’d made quite a mess of myself by the time I finished eating. I’d enjoyed giving over to my instincts and insisted on shredding one of the rabbits I’d caught, shaking it from side to side like a toy, just because I could. Line licked at my face, cleaning off some of the blood, but I’d made such a mess, he just ended up grooming me. Enjoying the attention, I rolled on my back, exposing my belly for him, which he nuzzled before returning to grooming me. I let out this happy noise, finding myself acting like a submissive little pup around him for some reason. He didn’t seem to mind, though, and curled up around me as best he could.

I buried my nose into whatever part of him was closest to my face, just happy that it was making Line happy. We stayed that way for a minute or two before I breathed in one of his hairs and sneezed so hard I smacked my face into the ground, making both of us jump. Line looked confused. I sat up and started trying to snort the fur out of my nose. Line on the other hand was getting about as close as possible to laughing as a wolf can get as I sneezed again. I pawed at my nose, feeling relieved as I managed to snort it out this time. I looked up at Line, who was watching me with this amused look.

Flashing him a look that asked ‘what’s so funny’ I launched myself at him, play tackling him to the floor. We ended up play fighting again, only this time I let him win. He pinned me down on my back, licking my face. I felt incredibly vulnerable in this position, but I kind of liked that I had no control. I licked back, wondering whether it was a hint that I should be more submissive or not as he sort of lay down on top of me. He nuzzled me a little, but I still wasn’t too sure. I licked at his face and he looked content enough, so I wagged my tail a little, comfortable with the position.

He rolled off me, snuggling up next to me. I sort of missed his solid weight on top of me as I relaxed onto my side, watching as he shut his eyes. I managed to stop myself from putting my nose in his fur this time, though. Line looked like he was quite happy to have a snooze, but I wasn’t tired. To stop me from getting bored, he stayed awake too. I glanced at him, licking his face to give him the go ahead to sleep.

And he did just that. I stayed awake, half because my thoughts from earlier were beginning to come back, half to make sure none of the other creatures no doubt lurking in the forest tried to harm him. It was my fault he was away from the safety of his pack, the least I could do was look out for him. I’d be lying though if I said I wasn’t at least a little bit looking out for Fate. I wanted to see him again, just to make sure he was okay.

Line didn’t sleep long, but by the time he was awake again, I’d done my best to clear my head by constantly watching the trees for anything that might be lurking out there. He sat up, nuzzling my neck. I only half noticed; I was too busy watching out. He lay back down, looking like he wanted snuggles. I was torn between the urge to look out for him and the urge to oblige his desires. He rolled onto his back, looking up at me. That just felt weird. I mean, seeing Line in a submissive position was just... well, weird. I lay down with him, resting my head on his side when he curled up around me as much as he could again, just glad that he was happy like that.

We stayed there until it was time to leave. I followed him quietly back home and up to bed, where both of us flopped. Neither of us bothered to change back. Personally I quite liked my wolf form these days. I attempted to fit around him, folding my legs under me and spilling off the edges to give him more room. On my own, I could take up a good three quarters of a double bed. With my legs under me, I still took up half. Line didn’t seem to mind that I was such a big wolf, and snuggled up to me. He was out like a light. 

The End

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