June 26th- The 2009 Protagonists Diary

This says June 26th but, actually it's September 28th.  A long time and no one has written a thing. Since that time, I have had surgery,  chiropractic treatments on my back, lost a beloved aunt.    Asked Jehovah to keep His arms around my shoulder, then bit the lord on His hand and shot off my mouth.

Lord why didn't you strike me mute, give me a sore throat, curl my fingers into the malformed hand of a cadaver, Lord why didn't you cause the electricity to shut down, why didn't you give my computer a virus, that just wiped it clean.. Lord why didn't you touch me with your little finger, with just enough pressure to cause me to stop.... look....listen.. gain control over my anger, my irrational ranting.  Ah but I couldn't, nor would I ever blame you, you in your infinite wisdom, that sent me warnings and proof that I in all my human error, refused to see.

I tell you truly Jehovah, I have learned my lesson so very, very well.  I have prayed hard since then, I do hope, no I do pray that you will hear me, I do ask that you forgive me for misusing the gift you sent, although Lord, I meant no harm.  I pray for the wisdom I should have had before my ranting and I promise, to act accordingly..

I cannot, it is inconceivable,  something my insides won't tolerate, something that will cause the haphazard beats that I have felt since then, 

I cannot see me without him...

The End

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