January 24th- The 2009 Protagonists' Diary

Hey there diary.

One year, one week and three days ago today, I took the very last puff on my very last cigarette, ever.  (I hope.) I actually stopped smoking 2 weeks longer than that, but for almost 2 weeks I had to have one puff a day. I had long since stopped buying cigarettes by then, so each day I would have one puff off my husband's cigarette. It was like holding onto a rope in the pool while you learn to tread water.  A life line of sorts. I had this terrible fear of letting go of the rope altogether. I was afraid that I would sink and start wanting the rope, or in this case, a cigarette again. It took awhile, but I finally let go of the rope, and you know what? I didn't sink. So far so good.

Anyway, that's my positive thought for today. Even on my most miserable, cranky, lonely  tired days, I try to have at least one positive thought. Even if that thought is only, "today I didn't get hit by a bus." 

My year has been going well up to two weeks ago, January tenth. I fell on the ice in the parking lot at work. I wrenched the muscles in my neck, and ended up with a mild form of whiplash. I went to the chiropractor four times that week, and it got better. Then our Microsoft  XP Professional program developed chronic function failure.  We had to transplant it with Microsoft  XP Home Edition. We backed up all our files on flash drives, but couldn't access them for awhile. Between the pain in my neck and the pain in my computer, I didn't get to write for most of a week. To me it was like not having coffee for a week. I didn't die from it, but I was not a happy camper.

I love this Protagonize site. Now that things have settled down, I'm going to continue on with my novel, Ghost Cop, now that I've fixed it. I literally started over. Miki demillion did a thoughtful, valid critique on it. My time lines were confused. I started in the present, but most of it took place in the past,. I saved it to flash drive and rewrote it  from the middle, sort of.

I love the feedback I've been getting, at least when the criticism is valid. I do admit I had a temper tantrum over a poor rating. I'm something of a spoiled brat. I hadn't  had a poor rating since I started, and that one put me into an emotional meltdown. I can deal with criticism with an explanation, in fact I welcome it, but one poor rating with no explanation made me see red. Anyway, someone suggested later that it might have been a mistake. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't,  but the fact was that I over reacted. Anyway, this is my contribution to the Protagonize Diary. I'll make another entry again  when I have an interesting day to write about.
See ya then.


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