January 2nd, 2009
As I sit at my computer, fingers a mad frenzy as they dance across the keys, I remember one of the things that drew me to Protagonize. The revelation will be shared in due time, as there are a few more inklings I believe need to be written down.
For too long I have been a slave to deadlines, a body consumed with the need to appease something else, someone else. That is the core reason I chose not to take creative writing classes, much to the shock, horror, and dismay of many an English teacher. You see, if I were to write for someone else's sake, my work would not hold the same value as it does currently.
When I write, I write for myself first, and for others after.
Now, I know this seems altogether selfish, and it is, but through writing I am not only able to appease my own inner desires, but to satiate those of other writers around me.
I was taught that last year.
My original intentions in writing were admittedly for my own personal reasons, for my own personal enjoyment. I horded my words, and shared a mere few on the occasions that I felt merited my participation.
And then I stumbled into Protagonize, into a vibrant community of writers.
I saw that I wasn't the only person to feed off others' energies: people fed off mine, too. My enthusiasm was echoed in other voices, made apparent in forms I would never think to employ. It was ensorcelling.
And so, my revelation. I am not here to fire out words in a vain effort to raise my post count, or to prove to the world that I do, in fact, deserve a place in the rankings. No, I am here to contribute, to learn, and to teach.
Far too often I have been focused on my own writing, ignoring that of those talented individuals around me. I find myself ecstatic when someone notices my work and enjoys it, but rarely return the favour and stop to read what becomes eventually lost in the piles and piles of chapters, branches, and stories.
I will read what is written, offer advice where it is requested, and give praise when it is warranted. Not in hopes that others will do the same for me, but rather in hopes that others will do the same for others.
I'm trusting you to keep an eye on me, dear diary, as you are being entrusted with these assurances.