Cancer: Found again

The trains are delayed. Joy. Tree on the line or something like that. Thorn's words ring irritatingly in my head. "You may have done bad things but you're more than you seem." Ugh, shut up, brain. I consider getting a bus or coach instead somewhere out of here, but in the end I really can't be bothered.

My mind turns briefly to the drugs in my bag, and for a moment I'm tempted - I see myself sitting in the blind spot between the security cameras and preparing a needle, but I don't do that either, I just sit heavily on a bench and sigh. I want to, though. To just sink into a drug induced oblivion for a few hours, but the after effects of drugs like that aren't worth it if you're only doing it the once.

Between Gemme and Thorn, my head is suddenly a lot more messed up than it was before. "You may have done bad things but you're more than you seem." No, Thorn. You're wrong. I smile weakly to myself. I've killed, and not just those goons back in the den, I've destroyed everything around me, I willingly sell drugs, knowing that it will eventually ruin their lives too, and now I've upset Gemme. I don't need to see her to know it. And because I don't want to think about this, I end up thinking about the drugs again.

A needle finds its way into my hand. Telekinesis is harder to control than you would think. I didn't mean it to appear in my hand. The packet crackles in my hand as I turn it over and over, trying to keep my mind blank. Should I go back? Is the damage I've done repairable? My eyes unfocus and I let the world around me blur as I just sit there, wondering.

"Luca." I hear a voice say. I blink and look around.

"Gemme!" I say, surprised, then curse. I hadn't really thought about what I was going to do if she found me... oops.

"So. This is it, huh?" she asks. I blink again and notice she has a bag with her. What's she doing? Trying to run away with me or something?

"Depends what ‘it' is, really." I mutter, shoving the needle packet back in my bag again.

"Well I suppose I meant everything between us. Even though there was nothing between us." I know she noticed the needle, and now she decides to say something about it, shaking her head softly. "There are things that can give you the same feelings as drugs you know."

"Like what?"

"Happiness." She says, but the look in her eyes tells me that she's thinking of a different word, and I can have a good guess at what it might be: "Love."

"Touché. Drugs make people happy." I tell her, looking out over the rail tracks. She rolls her eyes, playing the only card she has left - I can tell.

"Drugs won't make you love though, hmm?" There it is again. That L word.

"I don't need love," I tell her coldly.

The End

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