“Luca, what do you think of me?” I didn’t even think of it before it rolled off my tongue.
“You’re cute and nice to talk to.” He shrugged; I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as I continued, “That it?” I only just realised how down-hearted I actually sounded.
“No need to sound so down about it. I only talk to two...one other person.”
"Well it was Rayn and Si, but Si's kinda dead now. I don't have the ability to speak to the dead, so y'know..."
"Oh, right. I didn't mean to sound so down it's just..." I waved my hands in front of me frantically, "never mind." I stumbled as I tried to shush myself.
"Why did you ask? I mean, you can read minds."
"It's rude to read your mind. Plus, then we would never have a conversation, would we?"
"True. I like talking to you," he smiled
I could feel my heart beat a little faster as I smiled back. "Oh... well... I..." I took a moment to gather my thoughts, "I like talking to you too."
"Oh yes. Fine, I just feel a little hot. That's all." I smiled as I pretended to fan myself with my hand.
“You look more flustered than warm.” He noted.
“Heh, well I suppose I am.” I muttered my voice dropping even quieter than normal.
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow curiously.
“Hmm?” I dodged, rather badly I might add. How was I supposed to explain that suddenly I wanted nothing more than to hold him close to me?
“What’re you flustered about?”
“Well...I...you see...” I shook my head. “Nothing,” I resolved with a smile.
"I don't see. Tell me."
"No. You'll find me stupid and hate me."
"No, I won't. Tell me,"
"You will." I assured, my heart beating even faster as I mustered the courage to tell him.
"I won't," he repeated, frowning. "Why would I?"
"I love you." I blurted, instantly looking to the floor, a bright red colour coming to my cheeks, I could feel them grow hot.
"Love me?" He asked, incredulously.
"Uhm, yeah, you see..." I sighed, realising it was pointless trying to talk. What have I done?
"I'm still not seeing," he said, "but I don't hate you,"
"You must think me stupid."
"Well... not as such. I mean, you've known me less than two days..."
"Exactly! That's what I was thinking. How stupid I am."
He got up and crouched in front of me, “You can’t help it,” he smiled although I couldn’t really see.
"I didn't have to ruin everything by telling you!" I mumbled, still gazing awkwardly at the floor.
"What did you ruin?" He placed a hand under my chin, making me look up at him.
"Well you must think this awkward surely?"
"Clearly not as awkward as you seem to think it is."
"Well, I'm really hot, my cheeks are really red. Of course I think it's awkward!" I wondered if he could hear me as I heard my voice quicken as I spoke.
"Calm down!" He gave me a quick hug and I tried to control my breathing.
"I really should have thought that through." I placed a hand on my chest, feeling how hard my heart was beating.
"Hmm," he went back to his chair and as soon as he moved my gaze went straight back to the floor "Give it some time. You'll see..." He grimaced and reached for his smokes, I tried not to read his mind, so instead I saw what he did through his mind.
"See what?" I looked up, curiosity getting the best of me, by this time I also found that my heart had began to slow.
"You'll see you can't love me. I'm not right for someone as nice as you."
I shook my head softly, the blush disappearing as I feared what he was going to say. "You're better than Aaron. You've done nothing but protect me."
"Yeah, that's what I've done over like two days. You wait. Everything I am is wrong for you."
"Like what?" I pleaded to know. Somehow, what he was saying upset me; a lot.
He put the carton of cigarettes on the table, not looking up at Gemme as he dragged his belongings out into view. A piece of rubber tubing, a belt, a spoon, some tin foil and small bags of white powder and beige powder followed the cigarettes onto the table. He didn't wait for her reaction to those as he pulled out syringes in sanitary packs, stolen from a hospital, putting them beside the spoon. "There. That's my life. Does that look like something you could ever love?"
I got up, pushing the table away slightly before I crouched in front of him and nodded. "I think... that, that may be your life. But it is not you." I really did, they were decisions he made to survive. We all did things we regretted later. He could change that. I didn’t love him for his life. I loved him, for him; how could I explain that?
He looked down at me and shook his head. “You don’t need a drug dealer in your life for more than two days.”
“Please don’t say you’re going to leave me.” My voice quivered as I spoke and I swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears that came from my fears of him possibly leaving.
"Everything I touch ends up ruined, Gemme. You don't deserve that. I have to go, sooner or later, and I'd rather I left before I ruined you." He held up a hand, seeing she was about to interrupt, "hear me out. You remember Rayn, a few years ago, yeah? He was top of the class, loved by loads of people? Now he's no better than me. And that was my fault, okay?”
"Luca..." I shook slightly as I felt myself begin to cry again. Great. "Please. No. Tell me you don't actually think that!"
He put a cold hand on my cheek, and he wiped away some of my tears "I let him into my life and it brought him down to my level."
"No." I shook my head furiously; refusing to believe it. I just poured my heart to him and he was about to leave me? "Luca, I can save you, please, just don't leave me!" I could feel my stomach knot as I spoke and I felt my head surge with pain through my power. I could hear Ike wondering what was wrong but I couldn't reply. Instead I stood, wrapping my arms around Luca tightly. "I won't let you leave!"
"I shouldn't have asked. Sorry." he sighed, loosely hugging back.
"I won't let you leave." I repeated, trying to steady my breathing. "You can't go."
"You'll change your mind."
"You will," he said firmly.
"Well then, if you are so sure, let me enjoy having you here until I change my mind. Okay?" I took one hand away from him, using it to wipe away my tears.
He nodded. “Okay.”