I couldn’t breathe. My eyes snapped open, my hearts racing.
I struggled against my bindings, pulling until I thought my
wrists would break.
The mask came free of my face and I gasped in precious air.
“I’m sorry Miss Song, Madame Kovarian shut off your oxygen
supply from the control room. We are in lockdown,”
I wrinkled my nose, wiggling the feeding tube in my nostril
around so it was more comfortable.
“No need to be sorry, it’s actually quite nice, not being
asleep,” I told her truthfully, smiling.
Dr. Vanessa gave a halfhearted sad smile in return.
Craning my neck, I strained to see if I had a baby bump yet.
I found that I couldn’t really tell with the baggy white
gown they had me in.
I laid my head back down on the cushion, enjoying my free
time away from the dark cold place that the sedatives took me.
Closing my eyes, I thought of Matthew.
Would the baby look like him or like me? A little bit of
Tears threatened to overwhelm me once more when I remembered
I would never see Matthew ever again – nor would I know my child.
What of Bellona’s plan? She hadn’t given me details, just
that she was working on it.
Opening my eyes once more, my eyes wandered around the room,
trying to find something interesting to look at.
Dr. Vanessa was at her computer, as usual, clicking away. An
image of a young boy popped up on the screen, her mouse darting to the ‘x’ in
the top right.
“Wait! Is that Tommy?”
The mouse hovered on the ‘x’ but did not click it.
“Yes,” She nodded, her wavy hair bobbing.
He had brown eyes like Dr. Vanessa’s and brown hair –
perhaps from his father?
Dr. Vanessa clicked the ‘x’, the smiling face of the young
Indian boy vanishing from the screen.
“I may never see him again,” She murmured, turning in her
chair to face me.
I nodded, feeling her pain, “And I may never know mine,”
We were silent for a moment, each in our own thoughts and
The only sounds were the noises of monitors and other
machines, attending to their daily duties.
“Dr. Vanessa,” I turned my head to look at her, “Bellona spoke to me about a plan. She wants to get out of here, and she’ll take me with her. If you ask, I bet she’ll include you,”
Dr. Vanessa bit her lip, eyes darting to the camera in the
corner then back to me, “But what about my son?”
I fixed my eyes on hers, “What about mine?”
We fell into silence once more, staring at one another.
“I…I will think about it,” Dr. Vanessa replied with a sigh.
I nodded, satisfied, “Thank you,”
She smiled, this time she meant it, “You are most welcome…Sere,”