I couldn’t help but smile a bit as I saw the spider-beast enter the clearing.
Now if I only I had a knife….
I glanced around feverishly for something sharp to pierce the soft underbelly of the creature in the same way Kovarian had.
A sharp shard of diamond lay not too far off – could I get to it without the creature noticing? Was it smart enough to figure out what I was doing? Too late to worry about that. I lunged towards my soon-to-be makeshift knife, my fingers closing around the shard.
The creature acknowledged my movement, its many eyes focusing on me. It roared, snapping at me, inches from my chest. God, I really didn’t want to lose those!
It grabbed the surface of the fabric ripping my shirt away.
I was half naked in front of the alien idiot with a bowtie. Well, at least I didn’t lose my trench coat.
I darted beneath it, plunging upwards with the knife. I grinned with satisfaction as it exploded above me, coating me in that awful green stuff again. I really needed a shower after I got off this planet.
The Doctor stood dumbstruck in front of his diamond-spider encrusted ship.
“You killed it,” He murmured.
“Yeah? And?” I flicked bits of green goo off of me, painfully aware of the globs that hung in my hair.
“You killed an innocent creature that was just trying to survive!” He roared, charging at me. His nose was within millimeters of my own, intense blue-green eyes fixated upon mine.
“I killed a monster and saved our lives!” I held up my hands in surrender, trying not to look into those ancient deep eyes.
He muttered something unintelligible under his breath before returning to the TARDIS.
I tied my trench coat around my almost-naked body, silently thanking the nonexistent gods that the Doctor didn’t notice.
“Did you try your wand thingy on those spiders?” I asked him.
“Sonic screwdriver,” He retorted.
I rolled my eyes. Frankly, I didn’t care what his magic device was called, as long as it did the job.
“Well did you? It has a light at the end and they seem to be sensitive to light so…” I trailed off, gesturing towards the light on the top of his ship that was uncovered.
He eyed me cautiously, “I suppose there’s no harm trying,” He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the TARDIS. The diamond spiders skittered away from its glow, revealing the keyhole of the door.
Quick as a whip, the Doctor inserted his golden key into the hole, swinging the door open.
“These poor creatures won’t let go. I’ll have to burn them off in the vortex,” He regarded sadly, stroking the back of one of the spiders clinging to the outside of the TARDIS.
Wow. This guy was completely barmy. He cared about spiders?
“Serenata!” I yelled, walking into the TARDIS while the Doctor was muttering something to the spiders. Fruitcake. Yep, that was the word. He was a complete fruitcake.
I walked down the hall to her bedroom door, “Oi! You in there?”
I waited a few moments. No reply. I pressed my ear to the door.
What the hell?
I heard – laughing? And sounds that were sickeningly akin to –
“HEY! You two mucking about in there?” I banged my fist on the door.
The laughing ceased.
That’s it. I’d had enough of the bullshit.
I kicked open the door, the lock cracking in the flimsy wood. Wood? Whoever heard of a wooden door on a spaceship? Wood painted white, but still – wood!
The scene that met my eyes was quite comical.
In the middle of a bed with blue sheets was Sere and Matthew, apparently exhausted, clinging to each other with wide eyes. Did I mention they were naked? Their clothes were strewn across her room, a bra hanging from the blade of her ceiling fan.
“You two are going to be in so much trouble,” I grinned, reaching into my pocket to feel the smooth surface of the communicator.
Time to call Kovarian.