There are lots of improvements to be made to the story as it stands, but there are five six in particular that I consider major issues (so far). They're major because they require the most revamping and are certainly among the most irksome.
- The healing spring. Soooo overused and overpowered. I'll shut that shit down in the next draft. Gracefully.
- The flashback... prologue... thing. Everyone enjoys it, but let's face it: it's too much all at once. Readers don't want to lose sight of the actual meat of the story.
- The pace. Sure, people have shorter attention spans these days, but I think there are certainly some parts of the story that warrant a little more attention and clarity.
- Oliana's characterization. Nobody really loves her character at first. Not even me. So I'll be making her more likable while maintaining the core aspects of her personality. It can be done. I think.**
- The dialogue. I started in an attempt to keep the language fairly antiquated, but it's become fairly clear to me since that I should develop a somewhat more modern, consistent quality to the way the characters speak. But I realize there's a fine balance here, so it'll take some finesse to get things to where I want them to be for publishing.
- Roth's characterization. Or lack thereof. Take your pick on which bothers you the most.
**The flip side of this is Dechar would not be the man he is today if I'd liked Oliana from the beginning. I gave him more of a role in the story than initially intended just because I liked him better. I mean, how could I not? The purity of Captain America with the gruffness of Wolverine. I'll stop now. It's not called The Wolf King, Celtic.