Synapses

Straight thought process of my day a few months ago.

Life is a mess
An untidy room
One snooze button too many
Routine begins
Mindlessly check my phone
One. New. Message.
From you?
Why so late?
I hate sleep
Can't reply
Moment has passed
I hate sleep
Late for class
Disheveled morning hair
There's a hole in my shoe
Re-open the elusive text
"Can we talk?"
Can't concentrate on this lecture
Read the message fifty times
Straining out every possible undertone
Hit reply
"Sorry I was asleep. You okay?"
You just had to reply
Stare at the phone
Class is released
Walk across campus
Headphones in
Oblivious to the world
Head down, walking fast
Phone vibrates
Anxiety
Why do I care?
It means nothing to me
It means everything to me
It's a text message
Five seconds.....
Message isn't from you
Heart drops to my feet
Why do I care?
It means nothing to me
It means everything to me
Cycle repeats
It's evening
Realization
Haven't talked to a single person all day
Shake this feeling
Start a paper
Can't concentrate
Music blaring
What did you do to me?
Three words drive me insane
Go to sleep, make time pass
Can't sleep
What do I know anymore?
I am anxious without you
I don't need you
I am centered around you
Phone vibrates
"Yeah. Just one of those nights. Needed to talk."
Why?
Why
Why
Why
Stare at the phone
You don't need anything anymore
You don't need me
You have lines of anxiously waiting disciples
Text her
Call her
Leave me alone
Sleep
I need sleep
Must sleep
Can't stay awake anymore
Sun rises again
It's morning

The End

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