The Release of Procrastinated FeelingsMature

Before blowing a hole into the arena

"I am going!" I yelled.

"No way. Your not going to! I won't let you!" Tiamone replied. he was holding my arms  but that wasn't going to stop me! I had made up my mind , I was going to stop the fight myself, and take the punishment for it. It wouldn't be there fault if I exploded into the arena. Right?" 

"Then go ahead and stop me!" I yelled elbowing him hard in the chest, he staggered backwards as the warm began to heat up. The blue haired girl had decided to not get involved and was in the training area, knowing something was going to happen eventually,"AHHH!" I yelled ready to release just as Tiamone froze time around me and the fire ball. 

"I would rather not...." He was cut off, as time began to unfreeze, he gave a look of utter surprise. Even with time slowed around me I managed to give a long motioned grin.  The ground began to shake as if him holding time down but the power of the explosion was creating a stress.  Within seconds his power wasn't enough to hold mine back anymore.

'BOOM'

**********

Present

She grabbed my shirt, by then my mine drew blanks, time seemed to slow, or even freeze as her lips pressed up against mine. My brain started barraging my conscience with answers. Images of how she looked at me, how she spoke or acted around me, and how I simply ignored her. Or pushed the thought away with 'she could never like me' But deep down I knew somewhere along the line, I just pretended she didn't so I didn't have to acknowledge my own. How did I feel about her? Before I could answer this question myself or even know what I was doing, I was kissing her back. She was the first to break away shocked and embarrassed, her face going red. I had never seen her face go red like this. I opened my mouth to convey thoughts but their was none. Just white noise, I closed my mouth. If there were any she would know what I was about to say, I sure didn't. I looked at my feet, I was usually the one to direct things, but for once I wanted her to. But now wasn't the time as Visp popped around the stairs from the upstairs bedrooms. Thank god he didn't do that 10 seconds ago!

He stopped looking at the two of, guilt hit me like a sac of rocks against my stomach. I had told him, promised him that , well I didn't but I told him we were like siblings, and I couldn't. That was like a promise, wasn't it?

"Hey guys, errr. Kinda silent right now, what happened?" He said trying to start a conversation, I looked frozen at him, Lorrie just looked down at her feet. Was she guilty too? How did she feel abou.... No I wouldn't about that.

"Guys? Hmmm." He pulled a funny face, and a funny noise. I couldn't even crack a grin, my stomach was so heavy with guilt.

"I'm sorry." I finally managed to say something.

"About what? Did something happen?"

"err?" I looked at Lorrie from the side of my view, giving that expression on her face I would lie," No nothing, just thinking about tomorrow, and well what I did today. I'm sorry about getting us all in this mess." Atleast there was truth in those words I thought.

"Hey, you saved me and Lorrie, and yeah its just one more day, but...." He trailed off, I couldn't tell if he was angry with me or happy. Either way the guilt in my stomach was making me sick.

"I guess." I muttered," I'm going to my room for a bit. I can't seem to think right now." I said know it was a lame excuse.  Why couldn't I organize my thoughts? I'm not any good at it usually, but now I was hopeless!

"Alright. Tiamone said something about cooking Korean styled barbeque tonight sounds pretty tasty if you ask me." He said taking the lead and trying to normalize things.

"Yeah does sound good. I will be there." I said distantly.

The conversation ended there, and Lorrie darted upstairs ahead of me. I followed shortly after catching glimpse of Tiamone in his room. Did he see us? I didn't see her at the top, but I felt like I needed to tell her something, but how did I feel? Did it matter right now? Any one of us could die any in the period of four days! Getting that attached to someone was dangerous! Excuses! I thought, I cared too much about her anyway her death would be devastating either way.  Why did I care so much about her? I couldn't answer the question directly but the two of us had been through a lot since we met and honestly there was very little she didn't know about me. It as if she disappeared parts of me would, but doesn't that happen with every friend you meet?  I turned into my room, and left the door cracked open as if inviting company in. 

"I know the answer but I’m just to afraid to admit it, to afraid to confront it. I am truly a coward." I said out loud laying on my bed. In the back of my head the answerer was ready to break loose. I knew the answer already. The scene of her lips meeting mine replayed in my head like a tape breaking down my will.  I got up opening up a drawer find what I wanted. Pen and paper, I brought the two pieces up onto the desk, and held the pen shakily on the paper.

I........... I scribbled the rest.

"Damnit!" I cursed and tried again, the second time wasn't much better, and I threw the pen against the wall in aggravation.  Why couldn't I do such simple tasks easily? Why could I date or be honest towards other girls. What made Lorrie so much different? Why was I so guilty?I barely knew Visp!  I stormed out of my room, and walked towards Lorrie's room with a conscious subconscious kinda away. I reached the door which was closed, and placed an unsteady hand on the doorknob.  Telling by something being dropped in the room she heard me.

"It's me. I'm gonna come in if that's alright?" I heard her come to the door, and felt the knob move but I stopped it. I was still scared, more scared then I was ever, I couldn't admit it to Lorrie, but something told me she knew I was scared, and that’s why she wasn't questioning me. I put in a deep breath and pushed the door in softly meeting her silvery grey eyes as she met my Orange ones. We both knew these eyes were different but we could still sense each other in them. Be brave! I thought. As I opened my mouth I knew from the beginning I had found Lorrie cute, and her vulnerability kinda funny, but it made me want to protect her, and when I learned about where she came from I put of the barriers. I turned off any thought of it, and it was the reason why I couldn't think or speak properly.  The answer was in the subconscious kiss I gave her back then.

"Lorrie." I paused, guilt, and fear filled my stomach, I knew her answer, but what I was afraid of was not the answer it was what to do," I, errr..... I'm sorry, I knew." I glanced away, my bravery was returning now that I had made a decision," I knew you felt differently about me, and I ignored it. Denied, I did it because I didn't want to acknowledge my own feelings towards you, it must have hurt, and it was selfish of me to do so. In the beginning I would say we both had an attraction, but I decided it better to not push it past that for various reasons. Now were here, and all the things that come with that." I stopped and noticed that I was probably stringing this on too far," If you haven't already gotten the answer by now. I do like you Lorrie, but I don't know what to do, everything that follows scare me. Especially Visp, I pretty much promised him that I wasn't with you, or going to. But...." My bravery was sinking away why was this so much different? Lorrie took a step closer, and then the sounds of Visp coming up the stairs made me jump further into the room. Without even knowing what was happening Lorrie threw me into the closet. He was coming this way.

"Hey Lorrie."

Oh please don't find me! I pleaded in my head.

The End

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