He was still sat on the bed when I walked in, wiping at his eyes.
"What do you want?" he asks in what I think is meant to be a kind of bitchy tone.
"To make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine," he says, turning away from me.
"Yeah... you really sound it."
"So you're here just to patronize me." Touchy. I sigh, watching as he curls up on the bed.
"I came here to make it up to you for being a shit person - even I know if I left you like this I wouldn't have helped anything." Not that I'm good enough at emotional shit to help anyways.
"Then what do you plan to do, turn back time?" alright, sunshine, I'm just trying to be nice/help.
"I... you've got the rest of the night with me, still." Might as well, right? It's not like Kyle's stupid.
"And what are you going to do?"
"I dunno. Whatever you want - same as before."
"I want someone. I loved you, you went. I loved Kyle, he disappeared. What I want is my life back." I don't know what to say to that. Is there even anything that can be said to that? "Humph," he grunts, curling up tighter.
"I'll go if you want me to," I mumble, feeling like I'm just fighting a losing battle - much like with everything else in my life, I guess.
"Only stay if you're gonna be with me." Well I wasn't expecting that. Both of us are quiet as I try to process what he just said. I close my eyes, rubbing my temples. What a dick head.
"That's a really shitty thing to do, man. You can't just make me choose like that," I mutter.
"I didn't think there'd be a choice. I expected you to leave." Expect away, man, but you're not exactly talking to a normal guy, are you.
"Yeah, rules are different when you're talking to a mentally unstable guy," I remind him.
"Well then I'll make the choice for you. Go to Kyle." I pause for a moment. Sometimes I wonder which of us is more screwed up in the head.
"See y'around, then," I say, opening the door. I hesitate a moment - I don't really want to leave him like that, ‘cause it's not like I don't know how he feels, at least a little bit. But I don't want to make things worse than I already have. So I go, shutting the door quietly behind me.
I'm welcomed back to the hotel by not an empty bed, or a Kyle waiting for me to come back. No, I get tipsy Kyle. I kick my shoes off and faceplant the bed. I need to be high. Really fucking high. Methadone won't stop coke or weed working, right? Right?
I feel Kyle watching me and after a moment, he prods me. I roll onto my side and look at him.
"Wassup?" he asks.
"He made me choose between you. I chose you," I smile slightly, pushing my hand through his hair.
"Sweet," he gives me a tipsy smile.
"I need to be really fucking high," I mumble aloud
"No you don't."
"C'mon. Just some weed." I'm not sure if the puppy eyes I give him were as puppy as I wanted them to be. I probably just look desperate. He groans. "We can go have some drinks, get a bit high, and have some awesome sex." So the ‘bit high' part might be a lie, but whatever. He rolls his eyes.
"Fine." I grin, getting up again. C'mere, shoes. Apparently Kyle can't get up on his own. Once my shoes are back on, I haul him up and help him get to the bar. Lightweight.
While he gets drunk super quick, I'm busy looking for someone doing a deal. I try to ignore him groping me, taking his hand so he can't keep it up. I'm busy watching a drug deal.
I squeeze his hand, kissing him. "I'll be back in five. Try not to jump in the pants of the nearest person, yeah?"
"I'll try," he slurs. I shake my head a little.
"If you wait, I'll give you the best sex of your life when we get back to the hotel," I promise, earning a huge grin. I peck him on the cheek and shuffle over to the dealer when she's done with her deal. Usually, I'd be interested in a girl dealer, and maybe pay attention to what she's wearing or whether she looks like she might be up for at least a drink. Tonight? I just want to get high and get laid.
I walk back over to Kyle, a couple hundred poorer, but with enough gear to last both of us a few days. As long as I don't go nuts and flush it. That's happened before. Wasn't so much fun when I realised what I'd done.
The moment I'm within groping distance, I'm being groped. I pull him closer and kiss him. He gives me a sloppy drunk kiss back. I pull him out of the bar into a back alley somewhere between the bar and the hotel. I do a couple of lines and offer Kyle one. He doesn't argue. Actually, he doesn't seem bothered by it at all. I do another and offer him some more. This time he does a couple of lines and by the time we're both done, we're both insanely horny. What can I say? Coke just does that. Helps when you're with a fucking sexy guy to begin with.
We make our way back to the hotel, groping and making out the whole way. When we're back in our room, he practically molests me. Giggling, I fall back on the bed pulling his shirt off while he makes out with me. He wastes no time in stripping me, and with a grin, I do the same for him. He gropes me again, but I'm more interested in pulling him down onto the bed and shifting so we can 69.
He goes down on me with the kind of enthusiasm I would normally only hope for. I try to match him, but it's kinda hard to when all you wanna do is moan. It's when I feel his finger slip into me that I can't keep my mouth around him anymore. He doesn't seem to mind, and keeps sucking like his life depends on it. I stretch him out, finger fucking him a little while I'm there, making him moan. I shift again, rolling him onto his back and fucking him.
Remind me why I wanted to get clean?