People don’t realise, that just because I’m unconscious doesn’t mean I can’t hear them. I suddenly found myself waking up, the sudden adrenaline pushing through my veins making me wake. I didn’t believe it.
I forced back the tears, I forced back the anger and I closed my eyes again to block out everything else. I felt awful. One, it tasted like something had died my mouth. Two, I’d just watch my boyfriend betray me again. Three, the dreams I had while I was out were of Australia. When I was there, nothing really seemed so impressive. Now it was so beautiful, so welcoming. Heck, if heaven was like that. I’m in.
What I wouldn’t give to ride through a tunnel again. Through the clear waters of the crystal seas, to look up at the clouds and sing while playing my violin to my friends gathered around the giant bonfire. I missed my friends, I didn’t have any here. My mother promised me it would be okay and that I should ‘stop being an ungrateful shit. I’m going to live the American dream!’ I didn’t want the American dream; I didn’t want an American dream! I was happy where I was! Grateful, fucking grateful! She’s been nothing but a bitch to me!
I woke up and it was still dark again, but they were fast asleep. Perfect, I looked at the plate I heard someone put there, I wasn’t sure if there was anything on it, but I smiled when I saw a plate of grapes. Yay. Like when I woke up I wanted to be welcomed by some grapes. Well, saying that, I did. I picked one off the bunch and threw it at Damien. He didn’t wake, I threw another and he stirred but I knew he was just going to fall asleep again. So I picked up two more and threw them at him in quick succession. He moaned, looking around in confusion till he found I was actually awake.
"Shh, please. I don't want you to wake him."
He glared at me, but I didn’t care. I was used to waking up worse people than Damien."Why d'you wake me up?" It was a funny story actually but... maybe one for another day.
"Did he actually kiss you? I needed to know," I heard them talking. I thought I heard their lips pushing together, I heard Damien call him cute. I heard them fall asleep. But I didn’t see anything and that’s what annoyed me so much. I needed to see it to prove it.
"When he asked if he could kiss you, did he?" He shook his head and I can’t say I believed him but, I suppose I had something more on my mind.
"Oh, where's my fixed violin?"
“Still being fixed," I bit back a curse; I didn’t want to fling it away. I missed it, but once again I had Damien to blame for that. But, I knew he had good intentions in the end. I understood perfectly well why he was annoyed.
"Damn it. Okay, sorry. You can sleep again now." He closed his eyes, but his breathing remained sped up, at least it was more accelerated than when he slept in soft wisps of breath."Damien, are you okay?"
"Why do you care?" Truth is I didn’t. I was being civil because I had time to calm down after everything and I had time to think.
"I need someone to talk to after... well, loads of darkness." As I mentioned before, I wasn’t sure what day it was. You know those times when you fall asleep after your alarm goes off? You wake up again and it feels like it’s been a few seconds but in reality it’s been hours? My darkness felt like an eternity. I was scared to ask how long it had actually been.
"Talk away,” he took a couple of pills and I gathered that he was trying to numb something. I finally understood why he took drugs an’ everything. I also figured he wanted to drown me out somehow.
"Nothing to say, I haven't been awake." I sighed, "I'll leave you alone."
"Well I dunno what you'd wanna talk about. I don't know anything about you. Oh, apart from your mom is a bitch. I might have shouted at her."
"I don't care; I know she's an arsehole." I laughed quietly, "I hope you might've struck a nerve in the cold bitch." Another reason why I wanted to get out of here. I didn’t want to face a doctor and have him lie me on the bed and say ‘tell me about your mother.’ Because the answer would be. She’s a cold hearted fucking bitch that has been chiselled out of hell itself to torture the souls of humans.
"Maybe. It's not my fault these anti-depressants make me a dickhead. Mind, I guess it's my fault I'm on them in the first place," in my head I was still grumbling to myself about my parents. So how I maintained a conversation was beyond me.
"Yeah. I'm sure it's not but, what do I know?" And my dad? He’s the devil incarnate, full of fire and brimstone. Luckily, I don’t have to face him.
He sighed, "I'm sorry I fucked with you at school, though. You just met me at a real low point," but when he’s home... wait, what?
"Yeah, I regret it too. Well, apart from hitting the teacher," I let out a whisper of a laugh, which was more a hoarse cough and he chuckled with me, heh. "At least you meant well, I heard you were going to fix my violin, that and you stole methadone and sold it. I won't tell though."
"How did you hear that?"
"Just because I'm unconscious doesn't mean I can't hear." Sorry about this, I’m now just repeating myself. It’ll pick up soon, I think.
"I guess. It might have been my idea, but it's from Kyle, 'kay?"
"You're idea; you paid for it... yeah. Sure," I sighed, "I suppose I should thank you now then. Thank you." No, this is me just being a prat. Carry on reading.
He shrugged, "No problem.”
It was silent a while till I sighed again, "this roof is frickin' boring."
"It's much more interesting when you're high." Oh and don't I know it? In fact, I almost thought I could get used to that stuff. It made me feel great, sort of indestructible. It opened my eyes and allowed me to think.
"I hope you don't dream of happy elves. That fucker annoyed the hell outta me." Just a single elf, in a red pointy hat and wide green eyes with bright blonde hair... wait.
He laughed slightly. "There's a TV set kicking around somewhere, if you want that. Just ask one of the nurses."
"I don't want Kyle knowing I'm awake, thanks though."
"I couldn't break his heart again. I know he wanted to kiss you, I saw you both sweetly cuddled together. I still don't trust him, I want time to think."
"I guess he's alright. He didn't mean for anything to turn out how it did. It's been eating him up all day." I was silent, crooking my neck a little to look at him then I smiled, turning back. He was silent too and I closed my eyes, feigning consciousness. But the smile remained. What Damien didn’t know was, I could never truly be angry with him, he was my idol and had helped me through more than he knew. One day, I hoped to thank him.