We went back inside once Damien had finished smoking and I felt the tears start to fall again when I saw Danny was still unconscious. Damien was asking a nurse something about a TV and I just sat there and cried silently. The nurse went off somewhere and Damien turned to me.
"Why don't you go see Campbell?"
I sniffled. "Huh?"
"Campbell, my therapy guy"
"He'll be able to talk you through the shit on your mind better than I can" he shrugged.
"What if Danny wakes up and I'm not here?"
"Campbell's a babe. He'll talk to you next to Danny's bed if you want"
I wiped my eyes, hoping I might convince myself to stop crying.
He led me to t guy’s room and I followed silently. He knocked on the door, pushing me in front of it just before the guy answered.
"Um..." I said, looking at my feet.
"Bubba Kyle thinks he fucks everything up and I said he should come talk to you” Damien kind of smiled.
"Well... I'm free to have a chat. If you want to that is, Kyle"
I sort of nodded.
"Want to come in, then?" he stood back to let me in and I glanced at Damien.
You said I could speak to him by Danny...
Damien rolled his eyes. "He wants to sit with Danny, in case he wakes up"
Campbell, I think that was his name, looked at me and nodded.
"Thanks" I said quietly.
He stepped out into the corridor, locking the door behind him and walking back down to the ward with me and Damien. Damien disappeared at some point to go get something to eat and I sniffled a little when we got back to Danny. The guy pulled the curtain around the bed, separating us from the rest of the ward.
"So, Kyle, I'm assuming you want to keep all this off record?"
"Uh... I don't know"
He smiled. "I'm happy to bend the rules and not charge you for this, just this once, but if you want to make this an official session, then a bill will be sent to whoever pays for the insurance"
"It's entirely up to you"
"It's probably best if Mom doesn't know..."
He nodded. "Off record then. Is it okay if I make notes while we talk?"
"Can you tell me what Damien meant a minute ago, Kyle?" he asked, pen and clipboard at the ready.
"This feels stupid" I mumbled.
"Don't worry about it. No one's gonna know”
I sighed. "I can't do anything right"
"Me and Danny have split up twice and we've only been going out a couple weeks"
"What happened to split you up?"
"He fucked his ex and I kissed Damien"
"What made you kiss Damien?"
"He was being a dick to Danny. I was trying to get him put back in his place"
He frowned slightly. "Could you explain the logic behind that to me?"
"He was so busy picking on Danny that every forgot he's bi or whatever he is. Getting caught kissing him would remind everyone"
"Ahh, okay. D'you know why Damien was picking on Danny?"
"He's an easy target, I guess"
He nodded, making a few notes. “What else do you think you fuck up, then?"
"Tell me about school"
"I'm a bully. I don't want to be but too many people hate me for me to stop"
"Why're you a bully?"
"Always have been. I'd never hit anyone, though"
"Do you remember why you started picking on other kids?"
I shook my head and he made some more notes.
"What about academic progress?"
I chuckled. "I'm pretty much failing every class"
More notes. "Family life?"
I shrugged and he arched an eyebrow.
"It's good, I guess"
"What's your relationship like with your parents? You said it was probably best that your mom didn't know about this"
"It's good. Well... I mean, it's not like we argue or anything"
He kind of waited, silently urging me to explain further. Yeah, I don’t think so. I kept my mouth shut.
"Okay. Well, do you talk much with them? Do they talk much with you?"
"When we see each other"
"And how often is that?"
"A few times a week, maybe"
"Why only a few times a week?"
"They've got work, I've got school"
"But what about evenings and weekends? D'you never see them then?"
"Dad works late most days. And Mom goes to a lot of art classes and stuff in the evenings"
I shook my head, watching as he scribbled something else down.
"Anything else you think you fuck up?"
"What else is there to fuck up?"
He smiled. "Plenty of things. Listen, instead of sitting here wallowing while you wait for Danny to wake up, spend the next couple hours doing something for him. Make him something that shows you care, that kinda thing. I'm sure you can come up with something. If you need to talk again, you know where I am. I hope it helped at least a bit to talk about it all?" he asked, ignoring his pager when it bleeped.
I looked at the floor. "I'm no good at stuff like that"
"Ask Damien. He's always been pretty creative"
I sniffled. "What if he wakes up and I'm not here?"
He looked at Danny. "I'd say you have a good few hours before he wakes up. Plenty of time"
I could feel myself on the verge of tears and I tried to calm myself down.
"Go get some fresh air and do something that'll take up your concentration and time."
I nodded, taking a deep breath.
"Am I okay to leave you with Damien, then?"
He smiled slightly and his pager bleeped again. "I gotta go. If Danny's still out of it later and you need to talk again, I'll probably be free. Keep it in mind"
"Any time" he pulled the curtain back, "bye, Kyle"
"Bye, uh... Sorry, I forgot your name" I said, blushing. I’m normally good with names...
"Frank Campbell" he chuckled a little and I nodded.
He went off and I looked over at Damien, who was sat in bed eating and watching TV. I shuffled over and he didn’t really notice. I didn’t know whether that was because of the methadone or the TV.
"Hey" I said quietly.
"Hi" he said, not looking up and offering me something to eat.
I didn’t take anything, sitting down instead. He went back to nomming and I stayed silent.
He looked over eventually. "You okay?"
I sighed. "I don't know"
He patted my head. "You'll be okay. What're you gonna do til Danny wakes up?"
"That Campbell guy said I should make Danny something"
"Paint him something? Write him a song? Umm... get his violin repaired? I was gonna do it, but he'd probably appreciate it more if you did"
"I'm no good at creative stuff. And if fixing a violin costs more than $5, I'm fucked"
He shrugged. "I'll pay for it. Just don't tell him that"
"Thought you were broke?"
I arched an eyebrow. "So how...?"
"If I escape a nurse for long enough, I can sell some methadone pills. Easy"
"Shouldn't you be taking them, though?"
"Well d'you wanna get his violin repaired or not?"
"Then stop whining" he got up.
"Thank you" I said as he walked away.