I opened my eyes and blinked, I couldn’t feel anything. I looked around me with a whimper. Then I saw him, amidst the blinding light I saw his bright blonde hair and deep emerald eyes. I tried to move but the I.V in my arm just dug in deeper and I moaned. My eyes barely opened against the clinical white of the walls so I squinted, moving my bed up slightly. I remembered the doctors saying something about depression but, my parents would never allow it. They didn’t want to pay out extra for pills, bastards. Not that I wanted them.
He stood up from the chair he was sat in and moved closer to my bed side. His eyes were so wonderful, but their beauty now pained me. He murmured softly, “What happened?” His voice was so sweet and heavenly... why did it hurt so much to see him?
“I’m guessing the train wasn’t fast enough,” I retorted, but I didn’t mean to sound so nasty. I coughed slightly; my voice ached from not using it.
He seemed shocked, I don’t know why. He just doesn’t see it how I do. I want to be home with the sun on my skin and the wind blowing through my hair as the waves cascaded over the sand giving me a perfect curl to surf on. I shook my head slightly, zoning back into what he was saying. "What?"
"Well, I'm guessing I'm not in heaven," I murmured. This was too bright to be heaven and I’m sure I didn’t die. If I was dead I wouldn’t have an I.V in my arm and talking to my ex twice-over.
He was silent for a bit, then he blurted, "Are you fucking stupid or something?"
"Why are you here?"
"I can go, if you want,” he sniffled.
"No...Stay. Wait. Where's Damien?" He shrugged, but I couldn’t be bothered to be angry with him. "You've been crying..."
"...Yeah." I shook my head, why was I dreaming of Australia when the person I loved was here crying.
I tried to reach out the arm that was closest to him, but I couldn’t because of the stupid needle. I whimpered, "Oh... don't cry." He sniffled again and I pleaded with him, "Please, I can't wipe away your tears right now..." He wiped his eyes and sniffled again. "Oh, Kyle..." I reached up my opposite arm instead, reaching out for him, "your eyes sure are beautiful today." The tears made his eyes red, but they were also glossy.
"Didn't know bloodshot was your kind of thing," he muttered.
"They're shiny, like finely polished emeralds." He blushed a little and I thanked the fact that he was so cute when he blushed.
I smiled, "Ah, Kyle. I'm so sorry." He sniffled a little, "Please..." I reached out again, "I thought I'd lost you to him."
"What? Why?" He still stood where he was and didn’t move. I brought my arm back down again and sighed.
"Well, I just thought how great he was, used to be in a band and he can protect you against bullies."
"He's not you, though." Well, I know. But look at me. Then look at him. At least he’s more together.
"Exactly why I thought I lost you."
"I don't want him, I want you."
"That's not what I thought,"
"Even when I started crying because you were walking out on me?"
"He was there for you though."
"Danny, I want you. I've only ever wanted you."
"Well I'm no use to you now."
"No, look at me. I'm a mess." I began to cry and that triggered Kyle to swing his arms round me. “So, why was Damien with you? What happened?"
"Phil left and it was kind of my fault he didn't get to say goodbye." I willed him to go on, "So he was upset and I didn't want him to do anything stupid." So I was getting drunk and killing myself while you worried about Damien, while you comforted him and made him feel okay.
"So I took his place."
"Thank fuck I didn't lose you."
"Yeah, while you were comforting your dear Damien I was drinking myself to death. I should've died twice by my reckoning but alas. I'm still here," I muttered sourly, suddenly hating Damien more than ever.
He was hurt, and some part of me liked to see him that way. "I wasn't comforting anyone," Liar! Damien said you gave him a beer and put him to bed; you looked after him and made sure he didn’t kill himself. I bet he was crying in your arms.
"Really? Then what were you doing with him?"
"I gave him a beer and he pretty much went straight to sleep."
"I bet he cried himself to sleep in your arms."
He took a step back and I turned away from him. "I can't believe you."
"Am I right? He was crying in your arms wasn't he, while I was drowning my sorrows alone!" I shouted.
He seemed even more hurt, but I shook my head, ignoring him. "He passed out on the couch on his own"
"Tell me the truth!" I demanded, wishing I wasn't led down in this pathetic bed.
Tears spilled over his cheeks, "I am!" He cried out.
"I don't believe you! I don't believe Damien could keep his hands to himself!" He choked out a sob, but I wouldn’t let up. I wouldn’t believe him till I knew everything. "Tell me. Tell me everything that happened while I was gone,” I demanded in a harsh, firm tone.
"I threatened him and he came to your house with some hate note from Josh. So I threatened him again and he fucked off but he came back later, shouted at me for a while then fell asleep on my couch."
"It's the truth."
"I believe you." I didn’t tell him that I still didn’t think he was telling the truth still. He sniffled and I sighed, “I do.” Of course I do.