I felt absolutely crushed. Ash had left. And what he'd given me was a phone number. That was all I had left of him.
I didn't sleep that night as I waited for each hour to pass by when it was finally time for me to call him. I wanted to go down and just chug a few glasses of vodka, just to let go of the dread that continued to fill me with each second.
I wanted Ash. I wanted him here close to me. But that wasn't possible. He was gone. I felt exhausted but didn't have the willingness to go to sleep and fade away from conciousness and that's exactly how I spent the next nine hours.
I stared at the moon up in the night sky. Its beauty was enthralling, it was always there to light the dark times of the night. Somehow, that's how Ash felt in my life. The star of the day, and the guide of the night. Without him...I felt lost.
This is how I spent the remaining time, thinking of Ash that increased the burden I carried in my chest. It was when the clock in my room struck exactly six in the morning did I finally move out of the armchair. Unfolding my legs from my chest, I reached over and took the cordless phone from near the bedside table.
I didn't have to read the paper to know his number as I'd imprinted it into my mind. Dialling, I waited for someone to pick up. The voice didn't belong to Ash.
"Hi, my name is Natalie Brooks. I was wondering if I could speak to Ash?"
There was a pause from the other end before the woman said carefully. "Ash isn't here. He's gone on a vacation to Spain."
"But he took a flight back yesterday morning. His flight must have arrived about two hours back. Are you sure?"
"I would know when my son is in my house and as far as I know, he's not here yet. I'm sorry. But thank you for calling. Can you tell me your name again?"
I didn't say anything and hung up the phone. It's been two hours and Ash hadn't gone home. I started to panic. But a part of me calmed down. He'll be okay. He will be, for me.
That was when I decided.
I'm going to New York.