Watching my family falling apart wasn't very pleasant. It started with me fighting with my dad one night. He said I needed to get better. Get better?!? I had flipping let my own sister get killed. How do you get better from that? Will someone please tell me.
Aparantly my dad didn't know the answer. He didn't argue with me again after that. Instead he began to fight with my mum. There was one night I was walking past the open door to my parents room. My father had hit my mum and she was in tears. I had stopped sure but I wasn't me anymore. I was an empty shell. So I merely walked to my own room.My mum left to stay with Aunt Carol after that and my dad turned to alcohol.
That's why I was sitting in seat 12a right now. I had to get away. I was loosing myself I could see it and..... Stacey wouldn't want that. I was gonna live for her... But I don't know where to start. I dont even know if going all the way too Madrid was a good move but I'd already made it whether I regret it or not.
Just gotta keep moving and not let my mind get clog up with worries or doubt or I'd stop. I'd think of Stacey for too long and break down in tears. What can you do? You let someone you love out of your reach for a second and they get killed.
How do you deal with that I dont think anyone knows which makes this harder. Theres no logical thing to do after you lose someon. You just.... do. My father turned to alcohol and I know my mum an emotional reck. Completely depressed.... Is that what I am? Depressed?