I turned in surprise to find that the kidney wasn't there! I was never going to learn the anatomy of a human body, without all the parts. I was using the plastic upper torso of the human body to learn the names and functions of all the removable organs. The kidney was missing, and I don't know where it went!
It's not like the thing got up and walked away, not that it had far to go in my dorm room. My room at the university was only the size of a shoe box, so the search wouldn't take long. I looked in my tiny closet and found only my standard attire of jeans and t-shirts. I looked in the filing cabinet, and found only notebooks, my lap top, a couple of 4mb flash drives, and half of a 2 week old chocolate bar.
Munching on the stale chocolate, I crawled on my stomach and used my key chain pen light to look under the bed. It was only a single bed, but it had a beautiful quilted bedspread on it that my grandmother had made for me. It was big enough for a double bed, so it hung down to the floor on both sides of my university cot.
I peeked under the bed, "my god," I thought /coughed /sneezed, " I think some of these dust bunnies have teeth!" The little pen light gave off a surprising amount of light. I could see the end of my plastic kidney peeking out of a hole in the baseboard. " Oh crap. I have mice!" I grumped out loud. I pushed my upper body forward, grabbed the kidney and pulled. It Pulled back!
I screeched, my head jerked up and hit the underside of the bed, and I let go of the kidney. It came out of the hole, and charged right at me. I screamed again, grabbed one of my Pooh Bear slippers, and started slapping at it. The kidney had a life of its' own! It managed to avoid every attempt to whack it. I backed out from under the bed, ran to the doormat and grabbed my snow boots.
I sat on my only chair, and put them on as quickly as possible. By this time I had stopped thinking rationally. I just wanted revenge for the huge goose egg that was forming at the back of my head from it's contact with the steel bed frame. If I couldn't whack it, I was going to squash it! By this time it had gone across the room and out the partially open door into the hallway. I ran after it, and caught up with it just as it tried to squeeze under the doorway to the stairwell.
I kicked it back into the hallway and stomped on it for all I was worth. "Die, die, you crazy moving body part!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. By the time I had calmed down, the kidney was just a bunch of flattened plastic , four tiny wheels and a battery. Confused, I picked up what looked like a little chassis. Just then I realized that I was not alone. I heard loud laughter coming from the open doorway of my boyfriend's room, just across the hall from mine.
My soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend was standing outside his room with a remote control device in his hands. I stomped toward his room in my boots, steam coming out my ears, bellowing every swear word I had ever heard of. The jerk was still laughing! "Do you want to see what you look like squashing the killer kidney, Becky?" He asked as he held out the camcorder that he'd been taping me with. I grabbed the camera and broke it over his head. I doubt if he even felt it, he was so busy laughing. "You'd better start looking for another girlfriend, you a**hole!!! I screamed at him as I stalked back to my room and slammed the door.