"Babies are ridiculous."
"But I want one."
"All they do is sleep. Then there's the whole diaper issue --"
"I don't mind doing diaper duty."
"I just wish they could enter the world full grown already. Or at least able to walk and feed itself. Hell, I'd even take an old man, like that boring movie you made me sit through tonight, whatever it was called, with that sissy-face actor."
"It's called 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,' and Brad Pitt is not a sissy-face. He's a talented artist."
"Yeah, well, whatever. You're just saying that because you want to jump his bones."
"Oh, please. And hey, speaking of Brad Pitt, you could learn a thing or two from him."
"Oh yeah? Like what, how to be a sissy-face?"
"Stop that. I'm serious -- look at him and Angelina. They have like twelve kids now, and you don't hear him complaining. All I want is one little baby to call my own."
"Those aren't babies, those are beanie babies, at the rate that they're collecting them. You want beanie babies, I can get you some. It's way cheaper, too, so it's a win-win."
"Oh, this is hopeless."
"How about a dog? I wouldn't mind getting a dog. I used to have one when I was younger. His name was Rambo."
"I wouldn't mind a dog..."
"And he had a spike collar. Rambo was the coolest dog."
"Can we get a poodle?"
"No way. Poodles are ridiculous."
"OK, fine, you can pick the dog, but no spike collar."