Bluejay-Love aches...

“Love aches- Love hurts..." Van Halen sang as I pushed Will's seat back and straddled him. I couldn't believe we were going to consummate our relationship in the front seat of a Ford Focus. I couldn't believe that it was my idea. I don’t get hung up on labels. But I wasn't that type of girl. My sex life wasn't vanilla it was dry toast.

I could believe just three hours ago I hated Will. Well, hate is a strong word...I strongly disliked him. I had met and forgotten Will. We were in High school together. I usually label jars and not people...but he was and still is a nerd. I was a typical angry teenage gothic and now I am an intense adult. Maybe that's why I liked him...he didn't care who I was or wasn't

I re-met Will grocery shopping. I had my little shopping list and was prepared to click grocery shopping of my to-do list. And then I here someone frantically calling my name...I sign and put on a pleasant smile. I turn around and see a chubby man smiling jubilantly at me.

“Eden Roy. Wow...You look different but good. It's been too long" Will exclaimed

I squinted at him. But abruptly gave up. I realized I had no idea who this was.

“It’s me Willy Tenant. Everyone calls me William now but you can call me Will or Willy. Or William...Just don't call me late for supper ha! Ha! Ha!"

I didn't laugh.

“So what have you been up to Eden?"

“Well...Now I am a Merchandiser for H and M"

“So you just shop for a living?" Will laughed

I didn't laugh. I started to get disgusted and starting picking apart Will. He wasn't bad looking. He reminded me of a poor man's Johnny Depp. What really turned me off were his bad jokes and bad laugh.

“It’s a little more involved then that" I said gritting my teeth

 “I’m still an IT geek but now I get paid for it. “ Will laughed nervously

 He finally was getting the picture that I was anonyed. And I still had no idea who he was. He didn’t leave any long silences. No openings for me to just duck out.

 “So any kids yet?” Will looked at me expectantly. Way to eager for my liking.

 I just shook my head

 “Well, I was married but we never did hear the pitter patter of little feet” He sounded utterly heart broken. Before I could think about it I was hugging him. I quickly felt a rush of cold surprise as he pushed me away.

 “Its okay” He said “I’m okay. Its life right”

 “ I totally understand two months ago I was engaged to be married and then all of a sudden he tells me, he can’t get married because of his sex addiction…I told him to go f himself”

 “I think you win” William laughed

 “What do I win?” I muttered

 “How about drinks on Friday?”  William asked

 My brain didn’t answer my lips answered on their own “Sure” I said

And suddenly my hands were betraying me and handing him my business card

 William smiled dumbly and fluttered away. Five minutes later I was still standing there wondering what the hell just happened.


I’ ll tell you what just happened I had a date with some one who was still waiting for the grunge look to come back in style. I had a date with a total stranger. I snapped back to attention. I quickly threw food in my cart and impatiently waited as a teenage girl spent more time flirting with the bagger boy than working. The same goes for the bagger boy. There were only two people ahead of me but it certainly didn’t feel that way.  I impatiently flipped the baby seat up and down.  The overly coiffed teen clicked her tongue in disgust and gave me the look. I wasn’t intimidated. I could take her. I stopped flipping the seat because the noise got boring. Finally she got to me and the stupid twit actually seemed to go slower. I sighed and internally muttered “Let it go, let it go, let it go”


I got out my debit card and watched the twit slowly scanned the last two items and said flippantly“See that wasn’t so hard”

 I bit my tongue literally and figuratively. I wasn’t going to bring myself down to her level…but I wanted to. I wanted to so bad. But I was the adult and she was the child. I just slid my card through the machine and smiled overly cheerful.


“Thanks bunches Amber “I said


I was glad to finally get home and into my junk room. Most people call this room their storage room but I’d rather not lie. It’s a junk room. It’s where I put all the things I never look at but can’t seem to let go off. I shuffled around boxes until I found my high school junk box.  I ripped open the box and recoiled at the smell of must and old age. Of course my year book was near the bottom. I took it and shoved everything else back in. I sat on the floor cross legged and flipped to the T’s. My finger traced over the names until I found his. His fashion sense hadn’t changed. He was wearing a t-shirt with a plaid shirt over it. His thick hair was thick and sticking up at the top. In short he appeared sloppy. Vague recollection washed over me. Will always went to the burger place where I worked.  He would just park at the drive thru window idlely and make small talk and tell his stupid jokes. We had some of the same glasses, I think…

What was weird was he was still so akward. He still had no filtering system.


After that I waited for him to call and confirm. When he called I would tell him I changed my mind. Tell him it felt weird going out with him especially after all these years. But his voice sounded so sexy on the phone…I was in a cooking mood so I was cooking some elaborate pasta dish when the phone rang. I quickly picked it up with out looking and walked back to my simmering pasta.


“Hey” I said


“Hey” He returned


I didn’t know who it was at first but I enjoyed how thoroughly male his voice was. I went through the black book in my brain trying to figure out who was calling me and then William’s name popped up. I cringed inwardly. It had to be him.


“So are we still on for Friday? I know a great little bar you’ll love” William said


I stirred the pasta sauce absently and brought the rich sauce to my lips. I let out an mmmm….I almost forgot I was on the phone until William said “ So is it okay if I plan our…our night out”


“I don’t care” I said


Then he dangled my escape key right in my face. He said “So I’ll pick you up at seven”


I have no explanation as to why I said “Yep” but I said it. The only rational explanation was that he is an incubus that was using his voice to seduce me.

 I sat down at the table and wondered if I was overreacting or perhaps being Slightly immature. I pictured his face in his mind he wasn’t an attractive man. He wasn’t ugly either. He was sort ugly pretty. What really got to me Was the fact that he seemed to have no filtering system whatever.

 The date seemed inevitable like a dentists visit. Needless to say I wasn’t looking forward to it. But I decided to play nice and give him a fair chance. I would walk the walk and not judge so quickly.

 I was barely dressed and the door bell rang. I looked at the clock it was seven

O’clock sharp. I raised my eyebrows and dashed downstairs. I opened up the door and smiled meekly. I awkwardly invited him in. William came in with this stupid grin on his face. Like a dog waiting  for his bone.

 I saw him eyeing my attire with his eyebrows raised. I was slightly offended, this was my favourite causal dress. It had a vintage flower print in lovely shades of pink and red.

 “So…” I said “I’m not quite done getting ready. Five minutes” I mimed and Started for the stairs.

 “You look fine to me…even if you’re wearing your table cloth” William snickered

 TABLECLOTH!?! TABLECLOTH? Whatever. I would make him wish he just kept his dumb mouth shut.


“You are just saying that because you want to eat off of me” I teased

 I turned around playfully and as expected he was catching flies. Then I turned around and rolled my eyes. Then I went upstairs and set to work.


William tried to recover by saying “You probably have a hand bag made out of napkins too”


“ I have a ring that use to be a spoon” I shouted down the stairs


“ Who needs jewellery anyway just raid the kitchen” Will chuckled.


Moments later I walked downstairs. Will was pacing and suddenly stared. He had What I call the starving man stare. I wanted to throw something at him. Anything to snap him out of it. It’s not that I don’t think I’m pretty. But I’m not who  men go for. I live in vintage clothes. And I’ll admit I’m intense. Normal women don't die their blond hair darker. I was a natural blond. I dyed so it was more of a honey brown. I wore fifies inspired make up. In short I was a freak.

 Will swallowed and pointed towards the door he said “I parked in your drive way”


I rolled my eyes and said “ Isn’t that where people normally park?”


I didn’t wait for him to respond. I pushed past him and ushered him out. He did This weird bow thing and left. I wasn’t going to be sarcastic… there was no need to. I would look cruel if I did…but maybe I wanted to be cruel…

 I wasn’t cruel. I ignored his akwardness as I closed and locked the door. When I turned around Will was pointing to his car. Like I wouldn’t notice which car was his. There was only two cars in my drive way, mine and his. He bowed again and opened my car door but this time he decided to add a “My Lady to the end”

 “ Whatever” I muttered even though I found it oddly charming.

I smoothed the back of my dress and got in. Will practically leap in and then gave me  this dumb grin. I didn’t return the grin. I just went back to staring straight ahead.


“ So…You’re a Merchandiser for H and M, what else has Eden been up to?” Will asked


“ Well you already know about the marriage that never was…hmm…traveled a bit, Read a bit nothing overly exciting” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Where did you?” Will asked

 “All over Europe” I answered

 “Where did you like it best?” He asked


“The Topshop” I answered.


“That’s a store right?” He looked at me like I was the crazy one. At least I didn’t think I was Sir F***** Lancelot. I had a panic attack then. God what if we were going to the “Medievil Times” ?

 “ Yeah it’s a store” I said defensively


“ I don’t remember you being so obbsessed with clothes” Will said thoughtfully


“ Well that was in high school and you really didn’t know me” I said


All of a sudden the car stopped suddenly. I squinted out the window and bit my lip

We were at a bar. Where nobody danced. They just sat and ate wings all night.


I Looked at him nervously and said “Where are you taking me?”


Will rolled his eyes at me but still had that dumb smile on his face “ You are going to love it here”

 I sighed and got out of the car. I muttered “ Lets get this over with” I let him trail behind me. I walk briskly as if moving faster would speed up time. I wishI had that power…


“ Wow, your negative” Will observed


I sneered and shot back “Go ahead insult your date really illicates feeling of trust”

 “ Look I didn’t mean it that way. I just-“ Will started


I put my whole hand in his face and said “ Just open the door and feed me”


Will shrugged his shoulders and opened the door. I muttered a “ thank you”

I was too focused on the crowd. And there was a crowd, it was a Friday night but

Wow. Everyone was here, teenagers with fake IDs, University students, Senior

Citzens, Middle age soccer moms, everybody.


“ Hotspot” I muttered


“ I told you so. Where do you want to sit?” Will asked


“ There” I said pointing at a random table


Will took my arm and we started to push past the crowd. His skin felt nice soft not like a man’s should but…I liked it.

 When I sat down the first thing I did was look at the liquor and dessert menu. Will slowly pushed the menu down so my eyes peaked out to look at him. He said

“ They have a special on pitchers tonight”

 “ Unless it’s pitchers of vodka…”


“ So you’re a vodka drinker” Will said


“ No, I’ll drink anything that tastes like kool-aid”


“ Kool-aid?” Will chuckled


Moments later a perky Waitress took our order. I got a daiquiri and Will got a beer. I jumped as I heard some feedback. I turned to the sound a biker guy was testing the sound system. I plugged my ears and prayed for silence. Silence didn’t come and I winced. I noticed a yellow banner hanging over head and put two and two together.

It was worse than I thought this was a karoke bar.


I looked accusingly at Will “ You brought me to a karoke bar!”

 “ Don’t look offended it’s not like I brought you to a strip bar or something…”


“ I would have had more fun at a strip bar. Kinky fun” I said irrated

 “ God…Your worse than a eighteen year old…” Will shot back

 It did get a chance to shot something back. Our perky waitress returned and now Her demeanour seemed over the top. We both snapped our thank yous and then I took a swig of my daiquiri. It had a rum in it. You can swig rum. Pirates swig rum.

I barely noticed will was gone until I stopped looking at the bottom of my glass.

 Then I saw a blur of plaid make it’s way through the crowd. Will thumped a black

binder on the table. He looked at me eagerly


I quickly shot him down “ I’m not singing”


“ Come on…”


“ When hell freezes over, actually I’m pretty sure hell is cold. Winter is hell so it

Only makes sense. The point is I’m not singing”


“ But you can actually sing!” Will argued


“ Where’s the waitress? I’m ready to order” I changed the subject.


The bugger wouldn’t take the hint. He insisted “ You were in that band in high school. What was the band called again?”

 I muttered “ B**** in Heat and it wasn’t singing it was yelling set to music”


“ You guys were great!”


“ We only had one performance and then we all got suspended and then Nikki

Got all huffy and we quit.”

 “ If you sing, I’ll sing”


“ You’ll have to do better than that” I muttered


“ Do you need a new computer?” Will asked


“ You can’t wear plaid for a month, starting now”

 Will stripped of his shirt. I sat there satisfied as I stared at his thin baseball shirt. Will crossed his arms and said “ God, I feel so naked”

 I smiled slightly as I opened up the binder. I flipped through the pages destainfully.It was way to poppy for my liking.

 “ You should sing some Joan Jett” Will suggested


 I just might” I said thoughtfully


I was a little mad that I didn’t come up with the idea first. Oh well life goes on...I scribbled my info down and stood up. I said “ If that waitress ever makes an appearance order me a cheeseburger and fries”

 I trotted off and gave the biker dude my info. He tried to pick me up. I just Rolled my eyes and trotted back.

 Will sort have a satisfied smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and licked the last of my da

Daiquiri. Then we both fought the urge to cover our ears as woman in a furry cowboy

hat butchered that pussy cat dolls “ Don’t cha”. Will lost it. He giggled uncontollabley as she brought out moves better suited to a strip joint.

 “ Nice hat” Will laughed

 I laughed too “ Yeah it was her hat that really caught your attention”

 “ Your not at all like I remember you” Will said thoughtfully

 “ I don’t remember you” I admitted

 “ Yeah you were pretty stuck up” Will nodded

 I gritted my teeth as I thought about the merits of having a temper tantrum. Yes.Yelling seemed perfectly rational.

 “ Ever think that maybe, just maybe I was shy. Or perhaps I was a typical teenage Girl. “

 He didn’t get an answer to respond. The dirty biker called my name. All of a Sudden my song choice seemed perfect. I was a rocker singer. An angry rock singer. I belted out“ Bad reputation”  My anger filled every word and quickly dissapted and then the song turned into a playful romp.

I could see Will stand up and clap. Loudly. It was actually more embrassing then the actual singing. Soon the whole crowd followed. It almost was like in high school except without the principal abpurtly turning off my mike and suspending me. Apparently our signature song “ Aboration Baptism” wasn’t appropriate material.

 I bowed dramatically and jumped from the stage. I had a smile from ear to ear.One just like Will’s. Will held out his hand for a high five. It seemed cold Disconnected. I wanted more. But I didn’t show it. I gave him a high five. A low five. Too slow… Another High five. I just stared at him after awhile as he moved his hands around like a drunk windmill.

 “I told you still got it”


“I knew I still had it but I still don’t like crowds”


Our waitress finally arrived and looked puzzled at us because now we were all love an

And sweetness. She probably thought we were chemically unbalanced. She dropped

Our plates and smiled awkwardly at us.


“So you really were shy? I find that hard to believe. You were always getting in trouble for something and you always wore those crazy goth outfits.”

 “I was always on guard. I didn’t like being tormented. Well, who does? Weird people get teased and so our guard goes up and it turns into a vicious circle. The more were teased the shyer we are”

 “I always thought you hated me. I was so nervous around you. I would just spit things out. God I’m pretty sure I’m just spitting things out right now”

 I laughed at him and said “I was a teenager I hated everyone”

 He managed to convince me to do another song if he stopped wearing those work boots. Why would an IT guy ever need steel toe boots? Then we left an hour later.

 I jumped as Nelly’s “It’s getting hot in here” started playing really loudly I clutched my Heart. I turned to complain but didn’t get out a word. Will was dancing in his seat. Dancing like no one should ever dance. The song quickly abruptly changed into the next song like only a homemade cd can do.

 “What is this?” I asked ushering to the Cd player

 “It’s Journey”

 “No” I said shaking my head “What is that cd?”

 “It’s my seduction mix”

 I started laughing so hard my sides hurt. Will hit me playfully on the leg and said “What you don’t believe I can get the ladies. Ladies love me. I am a chick magnet”


That’s when Van Halen started playing…


“ Should I feel threatened?” I laughed


“Naw…I know a good thing when I see it”

 It must have been the Van Halen… that had me straddling a guy in a crowded parking lot. Or maybe I too knew a good thing when I saw it.


































The End

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