To A Member of the "Dear" Departed

You really don't like me right now do you?

Then again, for once, you have a valid point. Your method of demise was not very pleasant, nor was it dignified or even remotely painless. Okay, so you can blame me for killing you off - that's my fault, I'll admit it.
But please Illirion, would you just stop giving me that look.
As evil and sadistic as I can be, I do not merit the sort of look you would reserve for mass murderers and crazed lunatics. I hate that look. You can't even glare at me properly: you just sit there with your lip curled and your nose wrinkled up like I smell bad.
Let's not even mention the name calling. Your son is bad enough on that front.

Besides, being dead isn't all that bad is it? It's not as if I banished you to some dark hole at the bottom of the world's biggest latrine is it? True, you don't exactly have the best company up there - namely a would-be murderer and a few assorted and very foul-mouthed soldiers - but at least you're not alone! You can go where you like, do what you like and talk to who you like, because as you are, shall we say, released from your contract, you don't have to sit around in your own world - you complained enough about it when you were there (is it my fault your offspring are so difficult? .... actually, don't answer that). And who wouldn't want to be able to walk through walls?

So please, be mature, suck it up and get on with it. You're dead sunshine, because I say so. Stop leering at me and go and find something more productive to do. By "more productive", I mean something that does not involve yelling rude names in my ear and throwing things in my general direction.

And one final note. The halo is permenant. Deal with it.

The End

119 comments about this exercise Feed