Ok. So. It's been a long time since I last wrote anything. A bunch of crazy crap has happened. Meerow and I are marooned. We did some stuff. People weren't happy. It wasn't even a big deal. It was blown totally out of proportion. No one needed planet earth anymore anyhow. Sheesh.
Well, whatever. There was this moon that appeared out of nowhere past Jupiter a ways. This gnarly looking moon with an actual face on it. It had mean yellow eyes and a constant evil grin. So, everyone took the opportunity to exile us and maroon us on that moon. We've been staying on the far side, away from its mouth. Occasionally it will talk to us, try to convince us to let it chomp us. Like hell! dubble yoo tee eff. He's dumb if he thinks we'll do that. Stupid Moon.
The moon has been on a steady course to the center of the solar system, but he won't tell us where he's going no matter how many times we poke him in the eyes. Like it matters if we know. Sheesh.
Miss Pink Hair Space Chick showed up once not long after we were marooned. She floated past us. Like, right above us. I would have been able to reach out and touch her. I didn't though, cuz she blew a huge fart as she passed and I was too shocked to move. I looked at Meerow and he was busy bouncing on the moon's eye, so he didn't even see anything.
After what felt like 35 years, cuz it was, the moon arrived where the Earth used to be. It stopped and asked us what happened to the Earth. Meerow and I just looked at each other. The moon got really sad and started spouting about how some kid in a mask had summoned him to destroy the Earth but now, since there wasn't an Earth, he had no purpose. We cajoled him and convinced him to take us to another galaxy. But he exploded so that plan got nixed.
Apparently he had an infestation of Space Zombies inside him. And apparently his exploding tore a hole in the fabric of space and time.....
I have no idea where we are now.
We ran into Miss Pink Hair Space Chick again. She floated up next to us and grabbed our hands. She blew another huge fart and propelled us forward and we eventually landed on the front porch of a massive castle. We went inside and the halls were full of Space Zombies. She walked us to three thrones. She sat in the middle throne and had us sit on either side of her. She said she was the Space zombie queen, that I was her King, and that Meerow was our jester. He was actually ok with that.
And I was ok with that.
Huge farts or not, Miss Pink Hair Space Chick was hot stuff.
I asked her for her name.
She said it was Miss Pink Hair Space Chick.
What are the odds.