Adele: Confusion

After a dissatisfying answer from Quinn, I had stormed out of the shed and took flight. 

An hour and a half  later, I find myself back at the barn where I decide to land, resting my wings, a quiet thud sounds under my feet as I land on the slated roof and sit down at the edge.

A movement from below catches my eyes. Luckily, it is Lye, floating just out of a window.

"Hi" I say, looking at him.

"Hey" he adds, floating up to the roof and finding a seat.

"How are you?" I ask,  looking out at the faint stars. Memories from earlier comes to mind. His lips. But I am sure it was too soon. We only just met. Does he think the same?

"Don't know," he answers me. I think for a few seconds then sigh, an answer already forming on my lips. 

"Same," he puts his arm around my shoulder and I tense. This can't be right. We should take it slow. We barely know each other. I look over at his profile in the shadow. And have to admit to myself that he does look good. Is this all this is? A stupid teenage crush? 

I feel my self relax just as his Adam's apple bobs up, preparing to speak

"Something wrong?" He asks me.

I pause for a moment, not sure how to answer. Although a part of me knows this is wrong, is too soon, it still feels right.

"Just confused" I finally answer, hoping he will leave it at that. No such luck.

"But earlier..." He begins.

"That's what's confused me" I tell him honestly. I watch as his face turns into one of a frown. Oh god. He doesn't feel the Same. He thinks its normal. I feel my heart miss a beat.

"Um..." He says, frown deepening, "explain." I do it simply. I state exactly what's on my mind.

"We have known each other for what? Two days?" I say.

"Yeah... but you were the one that tried to take it further so now I'm confused" the automatic, ditto, answer didn't come. Instead I turned defensive.

"As far as I remember it, you were going to kiss me in the forest. You kissed me first." As I say it, feel my face going hot and know instinctively my face has turned red. 

"Yes but I didn't and I only did because you were ignoring me," he frowns again, "and you touched my wings."

I feel my face redden even more. 

"Lost in the moment." I answer quickly then turn so I am facing him. "And I was only ignoring you because you were ignoring me. You were looking at Avian."

"No I wasn't" his answer was quick to come. I narrow my eyes then feel a laugh beginning to form behind my lips but I stop it coming out.

"So your ingenious plan to stop people ignoring you is to kiss them?" I raise an eyebrow, feeling my anger start to rise, "would you have done the same if Avian was ignoring you?" I then ask, feeling a familiar ache start to form in my chest. The last I felt it was when my dad had chucked me out our house. Literally chucked.

"What? No. I'm not a two timer." He says with a scowl and he gets up, releasing his wings, preparing to take off.

"I never said you were!" I reply back angrily.

"Your implying it. Look I like you, Adele, but if your going to be one of those jealous girlfriends then I'm gone" he tells me. A stab of agony rips through my chest at his words. My eyes begin to sting and I know tears will soon be following. I take a deep breathe in order to try and keep my voice steady.

"I am not jealous, I am just confused." I tell him, getting up from my position, I look at the gravelled pavement below, "I'm sorry, I need time to think." I say before spreading my wings and stepping off the building.

I push down on my wings and fly out into the night, allowing the tears to run freely down my face.

I crash land somewhere in the forest and curl into myself, images of my mother and twin siblings in the front of my mind.

<I>They will be turning seven in a weeks time</I> I think to myself before the blankness of despair, loss, confusion and pain takes over my whole being.

The End

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