I lie on my bed hugging my pillow. I hear the door open and Joe walks in. He closes the door behind him then comes over.
I let him pull me into a hug as he lies next to me. I know this sounds bad but I actually wish it was Sam.
Damn it, I shouldn't be thinking about that it causes more tears. How could he do that?
I had to sit there watching both of them tear at me a little bit more. My oldest and closest friend.... well boyfriend now against the boy whose captured my heart.
"I'm sorry" Joe mutters. He's resting his chin on the top of my head but at this moment he pulls back and tilts my chin up.
Then he kisses me pressing his lips softly to mine. I kiss him back but...... while its nice I don't feel anything.
No spark, No desire. He pulls back then kisses me one more quick time. "So?" he asks.
I curl up to him.
"Nothing right?" he says sighing.
"No" I lie and luckily it sound convincing. "I just.... I'm not that happy at the moment Joe I can't" My voice is stuttering.
"Okay" He says holding me close. "I won't rush you or anything"
Problem is when he kissed me a picture of Sam flashed to mind along with a feeling of guilt.
Oh no. I really can't do this. I love Joe, yes but.... like family. A brother. Someone I care for and would protect. Someone to go to in times of pain but...... not this.
I'm not in love with him. God thats so cheesy.
I don't say anything though I just let him hold me. I bet that brings some suspisions to the others.
I just hope they don't get a chance to tell Sam when he gets back.