My tears flowed like ephemeral streams in a desert, they will soon go away. My anger matched that of a destructive volcano, resentment amounting as lava builds up islands. My heart was tore away when her coffin descended into the inviting, cold ground.
How could she left me? was what replayed in my delirious mind over and over again.
I spent hours at night pubs drowning my depression with the satisfying odour and taste of poorly processed alcohol. I was a living dead who walked through life, lacking emotions and dreams. Everything was smothered when the earth fell upon her.
I still remember the day when I met her, I was a newly graduate from University, having earned my Physics degree with hard work and diligence. I applied for work and was accepted, since then on my life became monotonous. Until the day she arrived.
She was the new secretary of my boss, an overweight man with a smoking addiction. We were secondhand smokers. Our coquetry started with not-so-casual encounters in the office kitchenette, then it evolved into slight "accidental" bumps on each others shoulder, and finally words appeared from our mouths.
I invited her to dinner one night, it was her birthday. We went to this fancy restaurant just across the street from the building where both of us worked. Einstein's theory of relativity was applied, if you place one hand on a burning stove for one minute it seems like an hour, but when you spend one hour with a woman you love it seems like only one minute. In what seems a minute to me, I told her everything about me, my secrets, my aspirations. I felt skinless, exposing myself to her.
I drowned that memory with more beer. A recently arrived customer, an attractive woman, took a seat beside me. She kept casting furtive glances in my direction. The attention of my heavy eyes were now solely on her. I gave her a smile. She sighed, this was all she needed. She turn to me and we were soon engaged in a conversation. When people are drunk, truth comes out of the mouth unconsciously, I was skinless... again.