Ryder was a reaper. Reaper's existed. He was going to take my soul from this world. All those things I'd seen in the shop were real. I'd had sex with a dead guy!
The last thought made me ill. Ryder couldn't really be dead. He walked, breathed and ate. My head rocked with questions but I couldn't go to see him. I had school. Oh gosh, school. Joe was going to be at school. I didn't know how he was going to treat him. I had rejected him for a guy who was essentially my death. Still it felt like what I had done had been right.
I didn't love Joe. I never would. He was my friend and that's all I could see him as. Wow, I was friend zoning someone but there was no kinder solution. I couldn't lead him on dying with that guilt on my shoulders. Dying. The thought brought me back to Ryder. He really was my reaper. He had been the shadow in my room driving me insane.
My father pulled up. "Are you sure?" he asked me as John slipped out quiet. I look to my brother worried. He had been so silent and I so wished to talk to him but I hadn't had the chance. Especially with all the insane things occurring. Fairies. Sorcerers. Reapers. "Mollie?"
"Huh? Oh yes I'm sure" I said before jumping out before my dad could blame my lack of focus on being ill. I tried to find John but ended up bumping into Nat and Harriet. They went silent when I came up. "Okay, I'm missing something"
"Is it true?" Nat asked seeming shocked.
"Is what true?"
Harriet frowned at me. "We mean you turning Joe down for a complete stranger!"
I swallowed feeling almost cornered. I looked down at my shoes. "He told you about that, huh?" I muttered. "Look, its not just that I have feeling for someone else I just... I generally can't return his feelings for me"
"Why not?" Nat snapped seeming annoyed. "You two go perfect together"
"As friends" I say watching them peer at me unconvinced. "Besides things aren't stable with me and that other guy so its not like I did it cause of that"
I felt the shadows shift behind me and knew Ryder was there. Well, he deserved me saying that after what he did. It was sick. I had come to that conclusion. Having consented I couldn't call it rape. I really had wanted him and that was simple but the fact he'd also been so careless. I was gonna be panicking till my next time of the month.
"I still think you should have given it a chance" Nat says turning and walking off. I felt hurt. Here I was dying and she cared more about me rejecting Joe. I looked to Harriet who looked annoyed with me too.
"I agree, Mollie" she said to me.
"But it would have been a lie" I said horrified. "I'd just hurt him even more in the end. Can't you see this is the lesser of two evils?"
"I-I sort of can unlike Nat but still just a chance. Why not have given him a chance? He's shattered!"
I teased worried about him now. "I-I will talk to him" I said before the bell went. Harriet gave me a hug then left. I headed down the hall to class knowing it was going to be really awkward. When I got there I found it so hard to go in.
"Are you going in?"
I tensed and turned to face Joe. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow but his gaze was oh so cold. I shivered and looked down. "Look, Joe, about what I said"
"I knew there was a chance but... I can't stop the hurt, Mollie. I will be here for you but don't expect me to be my old self for a while"
I nodded and stood aside letting him walk in. His movements were stiff and I could have cried. I did that to him. Going into that class I sat through it numbly. When we got out Nat and Harriet were waiting. They looked between us seeing the firm gap between us. Nat looked angered turning to head off while Harriet was just sad.
What was happening? Me not returning my feelings had caused so much separation in the group. "What have I done?" I asked Harriet as we walked a meter behind the other two.
"I shouldn't tell you this but Nat likes Joe... she never did anything cause she knew about his feeling for you and thought you returned them"
I looked to Harriet shocked. "Oh gosh, no" I looked to Nat. She'd been holding back because of me. I felt terrible. So much love messed up. I looked to my shoes. What had my time brought out...