We found our parents with the headmaster near the reception. I watched the headmaster leave just before we got over to them. "Oh my baby" my mother said pulling me into a hug. I squirmed watching my father pry my mother off me.
"It wasn't that bad" I said. "We know this is gonna happen"
My mother sniffled not seeming convinced by me telling her it wasn't bad. I sighed and started out the school. "We got you off P.E, R.E and PSHCEE" my father told me as we got into the car. I shrugged and turned to my phone.
"Can you drop me at the bookshop?" I asked.
My father glanced at me in the rear mirror. "I don't think that's best for you right now"
I was about to reply angrily when I saw John looking at me to his eyes begging me to listen. He didn't like the arguing. I knew that. He didn't even like arguing himself. I found it very cute how soft of a heart he had but it also made me worry. "Fine. I'll text my boss"
I sent Ryder a quick text wishing I could go to work. The books so full of such tiddle taddle were so entertaining but I tended not to read them so much. They were wrote so precise you could get lost in the words and start to think they were real. Getting home I headed upstairs hearing John follow me. I sat at my desk and I heard him perch behind me on my bed.
"What's wrong, John?" I asked glancing over my shoulder at him as I took out my school work thinking to maybe get ahead on my homework.
"Why do you work at that bookshop? I went passed it and it doesn't feel right"
"What do you mean?" I ask going over to sit next to him.
He bit his lip looking worried as he looked at me. "I think... I think I saw a guy with wings" he whispers causing me to laugh.
"They were probably an accessory" I said ruffling his hair and moving back to my desk where I opened up my french book.
"They moved" John protested against my reply.
I sighed. "I have homework, John" I said softly. I heard him huff annoyed and storm out. Okay, I felt bad for that but as I worked on my homework I thought about how I'd seen the same thing occasionally. It was always out of the corner of my eye then when I looked at them properly it was gone.
Ryder occasionally asked if I was okay when I ended up staring at the door after it happened and I laugh it off. It nagged at me though but did I really want to make my boss think I was crazy. I sighed letting my face fall into my hands. I was exhausted despite my little nap in the nurse's office. That was when dad decided to yell that dinner was ready. I headed downstairs.
"I have homework" I said picking up my plate and turning to leave.
"Okay, dear. D-Don't push yourself" my mother worried. I left going back to my room and putting my plate down on the desk with my stuff. Sitting down I looked at the stew and didn't feel at all hungry although I knew I should eat.
So picking up my fork I stabbed at a piece of beef popping it into my mouth and finding myself having to chew against the lie of being full. I couldn't be full cause I hadn't eaten all day but after three mouthfuls I just couldn't do it no more. I buried my face in my hands and couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"Why me?" I asked aloud. "Why out of everyone why me? I'm only seventeen. I'm young. I have so much left to do. So many people care for me. They all want me to live so I ask why me?"
I didn't get an answer of course. I grabbed my plate threw it at the ground with a scream before falling onto my bed and crying. My father came in and saw me then the mess. He went and cleaned it up leaving me to cry for which I was glad. I didn't want to be cuddled. I didn't want the lie it was going to be alright.
I knew it wasn't going to be alright.
How could it be alright?!