Rose: Helplessness

I moved away, disgusted by my actions. Why was I trying to make this relationship work? But part of me told me that I couldn't help it. Part of me told me that this was what I was meant to be doing.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, trying to ignore that part of me.

Witt looked at me. "It's not your fault," he said before standing up. "You go back to sleep, I'll just sit in the window."

"You don't have to stay," I murmured. "I've done enough without making you stay with me."

"If I leave you'll be killed so I don't think so." He sat down in the window.

I sighed. "Is this what it's come to? My life is in danger." I hesitated. "Maybe you should just let me die." No! my soul screamed. You're meant to be with Witt.

Witt tensed. "I can't let that happen."

"This is so stupid," I muttered.

Witt frowned.  "Do you really think that?"

I looked at him. "I cheated on my boyfriend. You cheated on your girlfriend. There's a bond between us that I don't understand - have never even heard about." I paused. Looking at the floor, I whispered "But no, I don't really think that."

"Then sleep and I will stay."

I hated the distance between us. I hated the feeling that we were isolated in separate bubbles. But I wouldn't dare tell Witt that. I wouldn't dare tell him I thought I loved him. So instead, I grabbed my pyjamas and headed to the bathroom.


            When I came out, having refreshed myself somewhat through the use of cold water, I bumped into Witt. He looked at me with worried eyes.

"What?" I whispered.

"I just got worried, why did you have to leave the room?"

"I could ... hardly change in front of you," I murmured, blushing.

"I wouldn't have watched if you had felt uncomfortable."

I blushed deeper. "You'd have still been in the same room," I pointed out.

He stroked my cheek. "You have no reason to blush."

"I do, though," I murmured, keeping my gaze averted from his. "I ... I don't know where we stand. Part of me tells me we shouldn't have ... any standing. And I'm ignoring the part of me telling me we have every standing."

Witt stepped away and went to sit back in the window. "You choose 'cause personally I don't care. If it wasn't for this bond I'd be with Flavia right now."

I winced. "I'm sorry. That's why we shouldn't be together. I never meant to tear you apart like this."

"Who says I'm being torn apart?" He looked at me. "Sleep."

"I'm not tired," I murmured, lying down.

Witt walked over and looked directly into my eyes. "You are tired and will sleep. If you request anything please say so." His voice was hypnotic, and his gaze was intense.

I yawned, but I was captivated by his eyes. Somehow, in the next thing I said, I managed to use his suggestion along with my intentions to have some sort of pleasant time with him.

"I am tired," I repeated, "and I will sleep. But not yet. I have a request." I waited, trembling delightfully inside at the thought of being under his power.

"What is your request?"

I looked away suddenly, the trance broken. I was breathing heavily from shock and unexpected desire. How had his hypnotic-ness made me want to kiss him?!

"N-nothing," I stammered. "I'm off to bed now." I quickly got into my bed, and instantly fell asleep.


          The following morning, I woke up and stretched. Witt was sitting on the bed, leaning against the backboard, evidently waiting for me to wake up. I jumped.

"Whoa! Have you been there all night?"

"Where else would I go?" In a flash, he had pinned me down on my bed. His voice turned hypnotic like it had done last night as he asked "What was your request last night?"

"I wanted you to kiss me," I said, completely mesmerised.

Witt frowned but leant in and kissed me.

I couldn't deny the pleasure as I wrapped my arms around me. But as the trance was broken, I pushed him away.

"No," I cried, tears coming to my eyes.

"You wanted it," Witt said, sitting still.

"I don't know why," I told him. But I was breathing heavily. I did know why.

"Speak the truth, Rose."

Witt looked confused and slightly hurt but also annoyed and angry.

"I love you," I whispered, once again having lost control of my actions. "But I don't want to. I just want to be with Marcus. And I want you to be with Flavia. But then, I do want to love you. I want to spend forever with you." I stopped. "I'm confusing myself," I admitted.

Witt stood up, looking angry. "Keep to your house 'cause I'll be outside" Witt snapped, heading for the window.

"What?!" I shouted, annoyed. "What do you want?"

"If you go out I won't protect you." He looked back at me. "I don't know what I want. Flavia was my first ever serious girlfriend."

"Then why are you annoyed at me, when I'm confused as well?" I asked. "It doesn't make sense."

"'Cause you're the reason for all of this. Why couldn't you just have stayed away?" he growled.

"I did! It's not my fault we ended up kissing. And if you remember, you came here to prove me that my dream was reality. You didn't have to do that." The tears flowed down my cheek. It hurt so much to argue with him, but what could I do? Bend completely to his will. ... Well, that was a possibility... NO! What was I thinking? Internally, I shook myself hard. You're not in the wrong, Rose, I told myself.

"If you had stayed in your own town, your boyfriend wouldn't be a werewolf and I would be with Flavia," Witt growled.

"You think I wanted to move?!" I yelled. He was being totally and utterly ridiculous. As if I could have foreseen this! "And even if I had, do you really think I could have guessed this would happen? Why are you blaming me for Fate?"

Witt looked away. "I'm sorry. I just really don't want to be so confused."

"Do you think I do?! Whatever you're feeling, I'm feeling it too! I want to scream and shout at you, and pummel you into a pulp! But I unlike some people have some self-restraint!"

Witt looked at me with a pained expression. He walked over and looked at me with hypnotic eyes before kissing me.

I kissed him back, surrendering to that will that was so much stronger than my own. I felt like I was falling. And drowning and melting, all at once. But even though it was like I was dying inside, it was the most amazing thing I had ever felt. I was crying at the way that I was betraying myself - betraying Marcus - but I was giving in to Witt and continuing to return the kiss, even as it deepened the point that our tongues were in each other's mouths.

Witt put his hands on my hips and rubbed soothing circles. A tear slipped down his cheek but I could feel through the soul bond that he was truly enjoying it.

And so we stood there, crying whilst kissing. In that moment, I wished that life were simpler and that there were satisfactory answers and solutions to our problems.


The End

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