Already OverMature

Ryder

She'd seen us. 

I sat on the edge of the Great South Bay Bridge, staring into the dark waters below. My heart turning to pieces in my chest as I pressed the redial button for the hundreth time. A picture of Dinah and I hugging and laughing popped up on screen, here phone number flashing below. Pressing the phone to my ear, I held my breath, hoping for a miracle. 

RING.....RING.....RING....RING...."Hey this is Dinah, sorry I can't answer my phone at the moment..." Dinah was suddenly cut off by my voice. 

"She's too busy with me." I heard my laughter as Dinah tutted me and finished up her message. 

"I'll try and call you back, just leave your name and number! Bye!" 

And the phone went silent. Tears poured off my face, a lump forming in my throat as I heard the tell tale beap of the answering machine clicking on. I paused, taking a shaky breath, and spoke...my voice pitiful and chocked. 

"Dinah.....oh Dinah....I know, know that your heart is broken over what happened. I know that you saw....since your not answering this phone. But please, if you've never listened to me....listen to me now! I never felt a thing when Lexi kissed me, she was drunk when it happened and I told her where my heart lies...It's with you Dinah! I love you!" 

I paused again as a fit of sobs racked my body, thunder crackling in the skies above. 

"I know that you'll probably leave me now, run off, leave new york...If that is what you truly want then fine. I can't change your mind, you always were stubborn." I smiled weakly. "I just...just wanted to hold you in my arms, like that night not so long ago. When I opened myself to you, telling you of my past. A past that I had never revealed to anyone. How our bodies fit together perfectly as our lips met and tongues tangled."

The images of that night came back to me, vividly playing like a movie. 

"Then on the covers, our clothes falling away. Our bodies lay bare for each other to touch and feel, to play and caress. The way you opened yourself to me, rocking and crashing like the tides. The noises of love and joy that we drove from each others lips. Dinah...that is the only good memory I have in my life. Is you! Loving you, making love to you. Please....if...if you can ever believe me..."

I let out a cry, heartfelt and pained. 

"If you still love me..." I sighed and stood. "I....oh never mind, I guess this is my last good-bye. You know Dinah....I never believed in god." More thunder roared overhead. "I still don't...so I guess if my soul can be a at peace, it will be that last night of ecstasy with you that I will hold onto..."

There was so much more I wanted to say, but my broken soul couldn't manage. It was probably the last time I would have a connection with Dinah...after what I planned, I wouldn't be coming back. Then I pressed the end call button and dialed a different number. Again it rung until it went to voicemail. 

"Hey...Lexi, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Sorry that your boyfriends a cheating asshole. Sorry your so far from home with no one to truly love you. I'm sorry that everything turned out the way it did, but this is my last good-bye to you as well. While you were one of my best friends, I only loved Dinah, and I always will. If you see her...just let her know. I left her a message on her phone, she should check it. If you...uh...hear about me later. Don't cry." 

Again I pressed the end call button and stood. My breaths became long and slow, training my heart for what was about to come. Flagging a taxi, I returned to our apartment and placed my ipod and headphones on the table. One of my most prized possessions, along with a note that had a few simple words penned. 

Dinah,
I love you always. Don't forget me when I'm gone,
Ryder.

I left the dark apartment and headed down the street, getting in another cab and going farther into the city, eventually returning to the bridge where I had made the calls. As I stepped from the yellow vehicle, rain began to soak my clothes. Lightning lit the sky and thunder drummed. My slow footsteps carried me to the edge of the bridge, I took another deep breath. 

I was preparing to jump and just end it all. I shut my eyes, about to jump when my phone rang. Blinking I picked it up and put it to my ear, a voice speaking to me. 

"Ryder?"

[Already Over by: RED]

The End

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