I was searching for words the whole way to Ryder's apartment. I didnt even know for sure if he would be there, only knew that I had to find a way back into his arms, his heart. Being with him was the only thing that made sense to me now.
Already the scene with Anthony had faded from my mind, leaving me hollow as I pressed on through the throngs of New York City. I should have said no to Anthony, left him as alone as he had made me feel so many times. Instead I had gone to him, and left the real prince behind. And for what? To say a few heartless things he already knew? What did I need closure for anyway?
At last I stood outside Ryder's apartment, where I had been only a few times before. I realized then how suddenly everything had happened, how quickly we'd gone from hate to lust to..what? I wasnt even sure what we had now, if anything even existed between us at all. But I knew the way it felt when his lips moved against my own, or when our voices melded into a single melody. It was just too perfect.
I rang the buzzer, waited a little impatiently for him to answer. I knew there would be no way to fake a reason why, not to him. Ryder saw right through my radiant smiles and forced laughs. He saw how expectations had eaten me up.
"Who is it?" At last his voice rang out from the intercom.
"Ryder...it's Dinah," I mumbled. "Please let me in."
Pause. Silence seeped into my pores. Then, a single buzz as the door unlocked. Even I couldnt contain the smile that broke out as I scurried in and onwards to his door. Ryder was already waiting for me there, leaning ever so casually against the doorframe. The muscles of his arm were flexed, and there was no denying the stirring in the pit of my stomach, the one begging him to take me and let me show him just how much I cared.
"What does it mean to you?" He said simply. No emotions. "I cant let you in until you answer that."
There was something far away in his eyes, telling me that he was harboring doubts and confusion beyond what I myself could feel. Ryder was a real, raw human being, with emotions to be toyed with and a soul to completely destroy. I couldnt be the one to do all that damage. His heart was real; it wasnt bulletproof.
"I told Anthony I didnt want to talk to him again," I managed, though my voice was quivering. "I dont need him anymore. Not when I have you to hold me up."
We stood there for another second or two, unmoving and unblinking. Just two hearts pounding profusely in the reverberation of the silence. Then, slowly, Ryder reached out to pull me against his chest. For that moment, everything was right.
He kissed me lightly upon the forehead, then pulled me into the apartment and slammed the door. The furious way he kissed me told me all was forgiven. I knew then that I'd do anything to save this.