My cheeks burned as if they had been set on fire. What the hell was I thinking? I grinned widely continuing down the sidewalk. I had never had such feelings explode so wildly within me. Sighing happily, I opened the bakery's front door. There was an open seat in the far corner which I quickly occupied. The baker gave me a curt smile and returned to his pastries.
Silently I sat there thinking over that moment at least 100 times. Why had I done that? Every time I ever tried to get near a girl they always just wanted the same thing...to use me. Whether it was my money, my company, or even my body. I shivered remembering them, all women had created a terrible track record with me.
The baker walked over to me and leaned on the table, sensing something.
"How are you Ryder?" I didn't reply still glued to the feeling I still felt upon my lips. "Ryder?" he asked again. Shaking my head, I tore myself from my thoughts.
"Yea Mac," I replied still stunned. Mac tilted his head confusion on his face. I waved my hand as if to say don't ask. He nodded.
"The usual then," Mac commented lightly over his shoulder as he headed into the kitchen. Carefully, I touched my fingers to my lips to see if they were still there, they were (shocker).
"What are you doing Ryder?" I asked mentally kicking myself. Do you even remember what love got you back home? I set my head on the cold table watching a street lamp outside flicker like lightning. Mac returned shortly and set a plate in front of me. A small smile creased my lips, Croissants and tea. My eyes momentarily met Mac's.
"Thanks," I murmured. He nodded and returned to his usual spot behind the counter. I took a few bites of the pastry and thought. Well too late to go back, now what do I do? The image of her boyfriend Anthony flashed into my mind sending waves of anger through me. He had treated her like garbage, if that's all she had ever known in life...she must have been miserable. Poor Dinah, that girl needs someone who will actually care for her. Instantly I almost slapped myself, HELLO I just kissed her. Forget the past and look to the future, she's the only thing you really have to look forward too, my conscious reminded me. Life starts now!
Hurriedly I stood and tossed Mac some money, leaving the crumbs on the table.
"Thanks Mac," I yelled running down the sidewalk. I felt so alive. I jumped and hollered, laughing wildly, spinning around. Eventually I found myself in the park and walked joyously to my spot under the oak. It was turning into a beautiful night and the stars sparkled like diamonds. Quietly, I rested under it's protective branches.
"Wow," I whistled "I'm in love!"
[Life Starts Now - Three Days Grace]