The silence was unbearable. Waiting was unbearable. It was just too much.
We'd been made to sit in a waiting room, where the smell of medication clung to the chairs. It was when the doctor had said there was a strong chance of it not working that I felt the first salty tear break free down my cheek. It broke a dam. I just stood there, crying, my shoulders shaking uncontrolably. I was trying to be professional, but at the end of the day...My life had changed forever in the space of less than an hour. My father was dead. And not my father, but a truly evil man. A murderer. My mother had switched hands but stayed the same in the sense that I would never truly know her, who she was. Maybe I didn't want to know. And the man who I'd been deceived into thinking was my father had been killed by my real father. The same man who was my colleague, who I'd only met...what, a few days ago? Maybe twice or three days before? And I'd stabbed a man full in the stomach, covered in blood...without even thinking. Now I was thinking about it repeatedly it was making me a little queasy. But...my life was soap-opera weird.
But the weird thing is that even though the four of us, me, Jagan, Bethany, Foster...no what, my Dad (still strange but it did justify me leaning on his shoulder, which was a little wet from all my crying. Poor guy) were all sitting there with the life of our colleague-no, friend, I felt proud to say that- hanging in the balance, well. Life goes on. Nobody else in this hospital, in this country, knew what we'd just been through back there. Every now or then a woman would walk along, having visited her father in hospital with her children. Crayon drawings. Or a young man would be wheeled out, his head shaven but his smile still wide at seeing his parents. I was having a bit of an epiphany here, but I wasn't really sure what it was getting at. Life is precious? Don't have a set idea of life? I don't know. What I did know was that I'd been sitting with my head in my hands for the last thirty minutes in agony. I was kindof happy, about the whole "hey my dad isn't that b*stard I thought he was" thing. But Crow was still in there...
The doctor came out and Bethany stood up, loosening her shoulders from Jagan's hold. He looked up from the clipboard. I felt my heart skip a beat or three. Bethany broke the agonising silence.