I was so shocked when I saw Steve, although, he's been Scarecrow for quite awhile.
Worked up the courage to hug Jagan, and I don't even know where it came from. I think I'm getting too friendly. I mean, I don't think he even cares for me that way. We just met. Although, even if I did imagine it, I think we could have kissed there. I wanted to kiss him. But I caught myself and realized that it wasn't the place nor the time. Scarecrow showed up before anything could happen anyway.
I don't know what happened. We used to be so close. People have always said we look like twins, same dark hair, same eyes, you can hardly tell the difference despite the 5 years that separates us. We started drifting apart when he started that job. Mom and Dad didn't want him to, and neither did I. It was too dangerous! We were really worried about him, and after he wound up in the hospital... It was only proved then. I remember being so mad at him. I was so worried about him. I love him so much. He's always been the one that's been there for me, protected me like a brother should.
Honestly, I know now that my well, disowning him was selfish. I did it so I wouldn't get hurt. I figured that he'd die.
I never thought that the next time we'd see each other would be when my big brother joined the team! I still don't know what to think about it. I am glad to see him again, but I know we have a lot to clear up between us. And I don't know that he'll ever forgive me. Even Marissa left him, he said. That's horrible. But, bitter as I know we still are, I say that he should have known that she'd get fed up with it too.
I only defended myself when he brought it all up. I didn't want to argue about it in front of Jagan. It thought it sweet that he protected me, but I still refrained from the yelling I knew would come if and when Steve and I got alone to work it out. IF we did, that is.
"Wait, Scarecrow, Steve, I didn't mean to push you away, I just..."
But when he said next cut me deep: "Oh you made it pretty clear you didn't want me in your life anymore Bethany."
Everything fell. Emotionally that is.
I tried to be blank, to be emotionless, the way Steve was. But it didn't work. I finally, casually rose from my seat and went to the restroom cubicle.
I passed the other members along the way. I don't know what to think about them. I guess I'll just have to get to know them. I feel like I connect most with Jagan, right now. But with all the emotional stuff that I don't need right now concerning him. I don't know.
I'll just wait it out a bit.