We had arranged a time and a place to meet; somewhere secluded where we could talk face to face and get everything out in the open. That was what we seriously needed to do so the night before I had sat up in my bed, thinking over every single word that was begging to come out of my mouth. I scripted a little speech (something I didn't really want to do but I did anyway) and repeated it over and over again to myself. I watched my mouth open and shut in the mirror, trying to stop the tears from falling.
The following morning, after a quick drink to calm my nerves and keep my eyes alert, I started my journey, walking with a fairly brisk pace. My eyes fell to the floor, watching out for the cracks in the pavement like a little child. I knew that I had to keep my mind busy and since talking to yourself in public was frowned upon by society, I focused in on the minute details of the street that was fast passing me by.
I stopped and surveyed the area where we had agreed to meet - it was a back alley on the outskirts of the city; nobody would bother us here. I leaned against one of the walls and rested my legs. I ran through the speech one last time in my mind and looked out for her.
When my watch told me that she should be here now, I stepped out into the main street. I couldn't see her but I decided to wait. I had picked quite a strange meeting place so my mind reassured me that it was simply a case of her getting lost. Or caught up at work. Or some other minor issue.
It got later and later. Still nothing. I tried calling her but I got no response.
My mind filled with serious problems - maybe she had been in some sort of accident. Maybe one of her clients had got a little aggressive. Maybe she wasn't going to come.
I waited another hour, just in case. I called her another four times but her phone ignored me.
She wasn't coming. I sighed heavily and watched as my words fled into the ether. I was never going to see her again, never going to be able to tell her what she needed to know. What I needed to tell her.
* * * * *
I startled awake, brushing the sweat away from my forehead. I checked the clock - too early. I slid back down onto the bed and tried to calm my breathing.
That had all been over a week ago. I still hadn't heard from her.
Maybe it was best left as a dream and nothing more.